The Hunger Which Eats At My Soul
by HardcoreHamsta
Summary: Highschooler, Ken Kaneki has good grades, plenty friends, and of course, his many books. But when a book signing for his favorite author, Takatsuki Sen, draws him out to the dangerous streets of Tokyo at night, he is attacked by an infamous monster, the Ghoul. Blood and Violence. Moderate Vulgarity. A little TouKen, but this is NOT a romance fanfiction. Please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

My eyes quickly passed over the page of text. Letters became syllables, the syllables forming words. Each word flowed from the white paper, seeming to give off color, sound, smell, and feeling. All these feelings came together to paint a realistic, vivid scene. All of it was so perfectly connected, one could not help but take it all in, enjoying the inked words printed into the dry, white paper. This was the captivating writing style of the critically acclaimed author, Takatsuki Sen. Her smooth, and fluent wording sends shivers down my spine whenever I step into the world of her novels, new or old. I tend to drown out any surrounding sounds and all I can hear is the low echo of her words, even though they are not spoken to me.

While my eyes eagerly raced back and forth from each line, I became entrapped in a sort of trance. My mind was blank and all I heard were the words read from the book encased in my hands. The words floated around in my head, flipping and sloshing around in the pitch black void of my mind. As the words flew by, they took on the colors and shapes of common household kitchen items. Some words turned into utensils, others morphed into the ceramic tile of the kitchen floor. Planks of wood whizzed by my head, snapping into place to make a countertop that separated the kitchen from the dining room. The process continued for mere seconds until it seemed that I sat in the kitchen of a boy and his mother. Now as I looked around the small room, I noticed that it contained bear essentials of a kitchen. That included a refrigerator, sink, cooking stove, and a microwave. All of these tools were accompanied by polished, cleanly cut wooden cabinets. The white floor tiles really brought out the color of the kitchen, and it really seemed like a nice and cozy place.

I however knew that the atmosphere of the room completely depended on the people which accompanied it. For the person who stood over the stove of that kitchen was the Black Goat. And the view from which the story is told is the view of the Black Goat's Egg, or her son if you prefer simpler terms. Takatsuki Sen's writing is so vivid, I can literally be taken into her stories. This little oddity is something I've considered to be a connection to Ms. Takatsuki. Only her writing can do that to me.

But the place I have been taken into is 's seventh work, the Black Goat's Egg. It is a gritty tale of a son, whose mother is the infamous serial killer the Black Goat. He resents his mother for her murderous tendencies, but he strangely is drawn to the thought of killing. The entire novel is basically his struggle as he tries to retain his innocence and sanity. This story is a very thrilling, psychological battle and is personally my favorite work from Ms. Takatsuki. I've read this story so many times, but still, I love diving into the mind of the Black Goat's Egg.

" Oi, Kaneki! Would you keep your head out of that damn book for ONE MINUTE?!"

At once, the whole scene broke apart and shattered, the entire room being engulfed into the black void. I suddenly found myself slouched over in a chair, my hands clinging to the book. My vision was blurry and I could only see about three feet in front of me. Three feet was all I needed to spot the force that had shaken me from my trance.

A young boy with orange, blonde hair stood, hunched over in my face. He wore an aggravated expression and his eyes were energetic. My eyes stayed locked with his for a long time before he let out a sigh and stood up straight, revealing himself to be quite tall considering his young looks and child like attitude. I closed my book, setting it gingerly on my desk, and stood up. I let out a short yawn, followed by small annoyed groan.

"Hide, that's very rude to yell in a person's ear," I snapped to him.

"Well, EXCUSE me. Just wanted to wake up my best friend before he missed his job AND his stupid book signing he would never shut up about…."

I instantly face palmed and sighed.

"Hide, I'm sorry. Thanks for getting me up, I appreciate it."

Hide crossed his arms for a minute, debating if he should forgive me. After a while though, he smiled and pulled me into a playful headlock.

We laughed for a bit and I groggily got up from my seat to leave the classroom. Looking back at The Black Goat's Egg, I quickly stuffed it into my bag and raced with Hide to the door. We exited the room and shuffled out into a hallway, in which we continued our conversation.

"Kaneki, I don't know how you read those GIANT books! I mean you were reading four hundred page books in fourth grade. That's not normal man!"

I passed my hand through my hair and answered,"It's really not that hard Hide, the words in it are basic high school level material. Besides, if you really kept at it, you could have read this book in about three weeks flat."

I looked back at Hide who wore a sour expression. He never was known to be calm, especially if he was reading. He can't keep still sometimes.

I decided to break the silence,"So everyone went home?"

Hide answered back,"Yeah. Touka-chan and Yoriko-chan went to eat at some fancy bakery and Nishio-senpai had that _thing_ with his girlfriend."

Hide gave me a mischievous smile and I laughed before slightly pushing him away from me.

He laughed too and before we knew it, we were at the school gate.

We parted ways and we were off, traveling to different destinations. I heard Hide turn around sharply and he yelled to me.

"Hey Kaneki! My mom's making curry, you wanna come over real quick?"

I waved back before shouting to him,"No thanks! See you tomorrow!"

I looked back to where I was walking and I breathed deeply, excited for tonight.

. . . . . . . .

I pushed open the door to my home, feeling a relaxing aura flood over me. I walked in and shut the door behind me, taking my shoes off at the entrance. I tossed my book bag into the hallway and lazily stepped into the living room before collapsing onto the couch. There was a hissing sound coming from the kitchen and I could smell meat being cooked.

Mom must be making hamburgers, I thought.

As if on cue, Mom stepped gently into the living room, the floorboards creaking under her steps. She could easily sneak up on you since she was such a small person, but I've lived with her long enough to recognize the sounds her feet make. I opened my eyes and looked into the warm and gentle face of my mother.

"Welcome home Ken. Was school tiring today?"

I smiled brightly and responded,"A little, but it's nothing I can't handle. You don't have to worry so much mother."

She bowed her head, her hair making a curtain around my face, and she planted a warm kiss on my forehead. She raised her head again, readjusted her glasses, and smiled back at me before leaving to tend to dinner. I spent a moment to take in the comfort of my home, a slight uneasy feeling rising in the pit of my stomach. I dismissed the feeling and pulled myself into a sitting position on the couch. Rubbing my eyes, I proceeded down the hall to my room. Upon entering, I marveled at the collection of books on my many shelves. All of the spines were so multicolored that each section on each shelf looked like a mini rainbow. It made my heart flutter every time I saw them. Most of my expansive collection was made up of books my father owned however. My father had so many books that not all of them could fit into this tiny room, so Mom arranged all of his books into a spare room. Besides the shelves however, everything else in my room was very ordinary. A soft bed, a desk, and a computer were just a few of the things that filled up the otherwise void room.

I walked to my closet in the left corner of the room and I slid it open. Inside were a very orderly arranged jumble of hanging clothes. There were jeans, hoodies, t-shirts and whatnot. But out of all of the many outfits hanging in my closet, one stood out as very sentimental. It was my uniform for my workplace, Anteiku. Many people would hate anything to do with work, but not me. Anything that comes from Anteiku is full of love and acceptance. And it's all thanks to the Manager. Shaking my head out of my thoughts, I grabbed my work uniform from my closet, put it on, and then proceeded back down the hall to the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen, Mom looked back at me and frowned.

"Ken, _how many times_ have I told you to eat before putting on your work clothes? I mean, what if you get a stain, imagine the embarrassment you'll receive at work!"

I looked down shamefully, answering back,"Please forgive me Mother, I didn't mean to cause you trouble."

Mom bit her lip, saying softly,"It's okay Ken, just… be careful, please."

I sighed in relief and sat down at the kitchen table. Mother had long since been done with dinner, but she waited to eat with me, even with all her piled up work. I watched as she prepared two plates and brought them to the table. A warm plate of hamburgers slid in front of me, steam radiating and flowing into my face. I dug in like a ravenous animal, before then being unaware of how hungry I had been. In no time flat, I was done with my meal, saying goodbye to Mom, and heading to Anteiku, The Black Goat's Egg clutched tightly in my hand.

. . . . . . . .

"Welcome to Anteiku!"

The usual warm welcome echoed through my ears, which adjusted quickly to low hum of classical music which usually played. Most people found it annoying, but the Manager's music choice was one of exquisite taste.

"Oh it's just you Kaneki-kun, I thought we had _another_ one of those trouble makers come in. You look a lot like those annoying little kids."

I turned my head to see Koma's big nose staring at me intently. I smiled, answering,"Am I supposed to take offense to that?"

He chuckled, firing back,"That's up to you to decide…"

We shared a laugh and then quickly joined Irimi, our fellow kind-hearted waitress, in attending to the impatient customers. Most were regulars here, but a few faces were new every now and again, meaning Anteiku was getting more popular around the 20th ward. That thought made my heart flutter, a thought in which everyone was here in the the building, enjoying each others company and the heavenly coffee. It was a nice thought, but I knew deep down that my surreal fantasy would never become true. There were so many people that seem to despise Anteiku. I don't know why, but many times, threatening people have come through the doors of Anteiku, stirring up trouble in the process. These people were usually your everyday punks, but I always got this feeling from one man. He wasn't a usual customer, nor did he ever start trouble, but everyone at Anteiku seemed to fear him. Irimi and Koma would retreat slightly, calling for the Manager. He would follow the Manager to the back room, and there they would just _talk_. He would stroll in and back out of the entrance, just glaring at everything in sight, even more so on me it seemed. The look he gave seemed… sinister, almost like he was a savage animal ready to take a bite of me. His narrow eyes, big nose, and blonde, slicked back hair gave him the impression of something evil. He even topped it all off with a white suit.

His name was only uttered ever once, by a former regular, who later was found by the CCG, his toes and fingers gruesomely severed at the joints. Even more disturbing about the revelation of his murder was what was found in his ear.

A Chinese Red-Headed centipede.

I slightly shivered, followed by a concerned Irimi patting my shoulder. I assured her that I was feeling well, but she still cautiously eyed me the rest of my shift.

. . . . . . . .

About an hour after getting to Anteiku, the bell that signaled someone had entered the doors chimed roughly. I winced and robotically turned my head to greet the new arrival, even though I knew who it was.

"Welcome to Ante-"

"Can it Bakaneki, you know it's me," a cold voice cut in.

I meekly bowed my head apologetically,"Sorry Touka-chan, I guess it's a habit."

Touka mumbled angrily and then ruffled her blue tangled hair, tangling it even further. She must of ran here, I thought, her cheeks are blushed as well. Even though she ran, she still got here late by twenty-three minutes. It was nothing new, Touka usually was irresponsible and easily aggravated. She and Hide would be soulmates, I chuckled to myself.

"What are you giggling about you school girl?"

I snapped back to my usual formal self, In which she usually would sigh and walk away, but this time she didn't. She eyed me curiously, saying,"Why do you let people push you around so much Kaneki?"

I often wondered the same thing. But I somehow knew the answer without thinking…

"Touka-chan, it's better to be the one being hurt, rather than being the one who hurts others."

Touka played with the thought in her head before breathing out sharply,"You sound like an old man… but since we're talking about this, I uh… wanted to say… thanks for covering for me. It means a lot."

I was taken aback, but I recomposed myself and smiled as big as I could, saying," No problem Touka-chan, we're _friends_ after all."

It was her turn to be taken aback, but she just stormed off mumbling,"... Baka!"

Koma and Irimi silently watched in the shadows, giggling to themselves over our "lover's quarrel." I went red and immediately shook my head, assuring it was a misunderstanding. "That's how all those love stories happen in anime Kaneki-kun, I'm tellin' you, she _likes_ you," Koma said in a manly, but obviously joking tone. Irimi was quick to fire back," I bet the only experience you have in love is from anime." Koma shot a surprised look at her, realizing how wide he left himself open. They continued to make loud banter behind me, but I had tuned it out.

I wasn't hurt, because I knew Touka-chan long enough to tell when she meant she was happy, and this was one of those times.

I smiled happily and hummed a tune, while cleaning all the silverware and cups, and Touka-chan re-entered the room in her work uniform. She jerked her head over to me, snapping,"What are you so happy about?!"

I looked her in the eyes, still smiling, and simply answered,"Nothing."

She, evidently annoyed, started to take orders from customers, leaving me in peace. Koma and Irimi had returned to their grueling work of manning the register and taking orders from customers, only stopping to chat briefly with the regulars.

As I hummed the happy little tune running through my head, I thought of how happy I was to be here with everyone.

. . . . . . . .

The clock soon approached eight o'clock, and my heart fluttered at the thought of getting my book signed by the one-and-only Takatsuki Sen. I watched as the last customers trickled out of the door, and by 8:12 P.M., I had flipped the open sign outside the door over to **CLOSED** _._ Koma and Irimi were in the back of the shop, washing and cleaning the dishes. Touka had long since left to go home for the evening. I was packing up my items, which only consisted of The Black Goat's Egg.

I was on my way out the door when the Manager crept up on me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I jumped and gave out a squeal, in which he proceeded to chuckle, his wrinkled face becoming more wrinkled from his smile. I breathed out heavily, my heart still skipping in my chest.

" Did I scare you Kaneki-kun? Please forgive me."

I held up my hands, waving off the surprise by saying,"It's no problem Manager, I've just been jumpy from hearing of all those ghoul attacks, y'know? Anyway, please forgive me."

Manager's face turned serious,"Yes, the attacks have been more severe and cumbersome lately. For _all_ of us."

I nodded and the Manager asked me another question.

"Kaneki, please forgive me for my rudeness, but why are you always so apologetic?"

I pondered that for a bit, letting the question burn into my mind. To be honest with you… _I_ don't even know.

"I guess it's because I was brought up to be respectful, sir."

The Manager processed this for a bit, before smiling and answering back,"Thank you Kaneki-kun. That's all, but if you ever need _anything_ , please come to Anteiku, we are all your family here."

I took the words to heart, said my farewells to the manager, and then I jogged out into the blackening sky.

 _If I hurry I could be at least number seventy-five in line!_

And so I went off into the night, jittery like a child before Christmas, excited to meet _her_.

. . . . . . . .

 _NUMBER ONE-HUNDRED-THIRTY-FIVE, PLEASE COME TO MEET MS. TAKATSUKI!_

It seems my calculations weren't exact when it came to my place in line, but that doesn't matter because I could finally meet her.

I shakily walked to the desk, my legs numb and sweaty. I was apparently moving too slow because the announcer had hurried me along. In mere seconds I was standing face to face with my favorite author of all time.

Takatsuki Sen.

I forced mechanical words out of my mouth, barely able to say,"Hello… my na-name is Ka-Ka-Kaneki. Kaneki Ken." Ms. Takatsuki stared at me blankly, her green eyes studying me. After a while, she smiled, throwing her head up to me.

"Hello Kaneki-kun! What can I do for you today!"

I looked at her in horrid surprise. She was so energetic and full of kindness. She sat with her fingers laced under her chin, her head craned up to me. I choked on my own spit, but still managed to get my message to her.

"Please sign my book Ms. Takatsuki! It would be an honor!" I said as I thrust my book forward. She snatched it from my hands and happily scribbled her signature into the cover, along with ' _To my quiet friend, Ken Kaneki!_ '

"Good job on getting those words out Kaneki-kun! Here ya GO!" she said handing the book into my shaky hands. I quickly stuffed the book into my arms, clutching it like a mother would clutch her baby. I bowed my head to her, my face red as roses, and quickly ran out the door with a wide smile.

 _NUMBER ONE-HUNDRED-THIRTY-SIX, PLEASE COME MEET MS. TAKATSUKI!_

. . . . . . . .

I was earlier cautious about where I traveled in the city at night, but now those thoughts escaped me. I didn't care and still tightly clutched the signed book in my arms. The streets were quiet, with a car or two passing every two minutes. I could only really notice the book in my hands, which I think was starting to get wrinkled from simply clutching it. I went over the conversation with Mom in my head:

" _Mom, you should've seen me up there! I was so confident and collected just like you told me to be!"_

I giggled and placed my hand to my chin.

Taking a turn right, I had kept going on my merry way, home only being another ten minutes away. I again started to smile and hum the happy little tune from earlier. It just kept going like that, no danger, no _anything_.

"HE-He-hELp mE… PL-pl-PleASe!"

My happy little tune had sharply stopped, now replaced by dry air escaping my now barely moist lips. I edged my head around slowly, trying to identify the origin of the wicked plea for help. I clutched my book tighter, and then fully turned around to face still empty street. I waited for what felt like forever, just to justify if I actually _heard_ the shrill voice. The voice didn't come again, so I mustered up the air in my lungs to push out my cracked and dry lips. I could only a terrified and scared sounding word.

"He-hello?"

I waited once again for an answer, the hairs on the back of my neck fully erect.

"He-hERe… OVeR hE-heRe… "

I traced the origin of the voice to my right, a dark alley engulfed in darkness. I gulped, my legs shaking like earlier. For some reason or another though, I shuffled towards the dark, ignoring my fright. My footsteps echoed in the ten foot wide space between the buildings to my left and right. Terror rose into me like a beast, telling me to go back, but still I pushed on until I found a figure in the dark.

It was a person, crawled into the fetal position while covered in blood. Oh God, there was so much blood… But judging by the long, purple, and blood soaked hair, it seemed to be a woman. What seemed to be glasses were strewn to the side of her.

"HeLP…. MeeEEe!" she repeated. I quickly jumped on the chance to help her, and I scooped her up into my arms, the blood flowing and soaking into the cloth of my work uniform.

 _Mom's gonna kill me if this doesn't wash out_ , I thought.

I rasped to the girl,"It's ok-okay, I'm-I'm gonna he-help you!"

"hELp MeeE?!" she croaked.

"Yes! Just hold on!"

I wrapped my arms around her and I realized that my book was getting soaked in blood. I almost dropped the woman, but I maintained my composure.

"Good…." she whispered as breath escaped her mouth sharply.

I looked down surprised and a split second later, I looked down terrified as two red glowing dots looked into my eyes.

"GOOD!" she shouted before latching her mouth onto my left shoulder. He jerked her head back violently and I heard my own flesh rip from muscle and bone. As I screamed, and she laughed maniacally, I noticed my own bright red blood mingle with her dark red blood, together they soaked through the pages of The Black Goat's Egg.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone, just wanted to say thanks for reading, and please excuse any grammatical errors in the first chapter and in the future. I get so excited writing that I usually publish stuff "hot-off-the-press." If you don't know what that means, just look it up. Anyway, thanks again for reading and enjoy!**

 **-Hardcore Hamsta**

. . . . . . . .

 _(Hide's POV)_

 _Man, this sucks_ , I thought. _First, Kaneki ignores me in class, then scolds me for reminding him to get to his stupid job and his stupid book signing! Secondly, he turns down my offer for curry, which to be fair, I probably would have at all his portions of food. And finally, oh man where do I start?! He goes and gets attacked, and by a ghoul at that!_

I clutched a bundle of white roses in my hands as I walked the corridors of the hospital. I was pretty sure Kaneki had taken a liking to these flowers when we were little. When we were younger, he would usually stop at this little flower shop on the corner of the street which led to his house. The young lady who ran the shop always seemed to like Kaneki, letting him smell and handle the roses. He would stop there three times a week, and when he didn't stop, he would wave kindly to the young lady. She would wave back with a broad pretty smile, her peach like hair flowing in the wind, usually saying,"Come visit me tomorrow Kanekichi!"

Delighted, Kaneki would visit her often, talking about flowers and his day at school. I usually joined in too, trying to understand the names and seasons of different flowers. Soon, we all became friends, Kaneki and I stopping there after school everyday. It was great to have an adult to talk to as a friend.

One autumn day though, as we walked our usual route home, Kaneki noticed the lady wasn't there. Thinking she was sick, Kaneki and I continued on our way home, not worrying too much. Looking forward to meeting her the next day, we raced to her little shop. Again, no one was there. We went home, severely disappointed. This time, after the last school bell chimed, we sprinted four blocks to her little shop, twenty pound backpacks barely seeming to weigh us down. To our dismay, again the lady was absent.

We had lost a friend it seemed, and I gave up going to the colorfully decorated shop after another two days. She was gone… no doubt about it. Kaneki however, couldn't give up. Day after day he made the trip home, worry on his face, and every time we passed by the shop, she wasn't there. It took two weeks before Kaneki accepted the fact. He made the usual turn and started moving right to enter the little building. I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and gripped his shoulder tightly. Kaneki, seemingly dazed looked back at me, muttering,"Huh? Hide what are you doing? I'm sure she's here today, I can feel it." He glanced into the now dusty shop, his eyes sparkling.

I had enough.

"Kaneki… she's gone. Accept it."

Again he looked dumbfounded, muttering,"But Hide sh-she-she's here… she has to be…"

I did something that day, something I regret. It opened my eyes to the horror that was Ken Kaneki.

"YOU'RE SO STUBBORN! JUST. ACCEPT. IT."

Kaneki stared blankly into my eyes, both of our eyes moist with tears. Kaneki bowed his head and wept, before collapsing onto his knees. I too wept and I reached out to his shoulder. That was when I saw _him_ …

"You're shit…" Kaneki muttered. I flinched back, hurt by his words. I think I knew he was grieving, but I still tried to talk to him instead of giving him peace.

"Kaneki… please don't-"

"Oh, put a sock in it!" he interrupted,"You're shit, and shit doesn't talk."

I shivered at the icy tone of his voice, shocked from head to toe.

Kaneki continued,"Can't you just give him blind happiness? He loves you like his own brother, and here you are denying him of his little happiness…"

Kaneki looked up, anger and madness mingling in his eyes. _Why is he referring to himself in the third person_ , I thought. He bent his neck at an angle, studying me. After stunning silence, he again spoke.

"He works hard, and doesn't ask for much. When he does ask for something, he gets pain instead. It hurts him so bad," Kaneki's tone switched," Pl-please Mom-MOmmY! I'll StOp! IT's toO MUcH, it HURTS!" Kaneki was shaking, and there, on his neck, I noticed the first bruise. It was a sickly purple and black color, clearly untreated. I gently touched the bruise, tracing the bump with my fingertips. I ran my hands along his back, his schoolbag discarded on the ground ages ago. I felt dozens of bumps the size of golfballs along his spine, shoulder blades, and lower back. Through the sobbing, Kaneki choked out," Do you feel his pain?"

My stomach flipped as I felt along his back. It was sickly. I felt pity for him, but soon it was replaced by white, hot anger. His Mom, the one who brought him into this world did this? I couldn't comprehend all of the facts at the age of eleven, but now I see them all clearly, and I wait still, waiting for his mother to slip up so I could testify against her and land her straight in a cell where she deserves to rot.

After the whole ordeal however, Kaneki couldn't seem to recall even the slightest bit of his ramblings. We went home, silent and only spoke when we parted ways.

That was the last time I saw _him_ , and I hope it stays that way.

. . . . . . . .

I had found myself at Kaneki's hospital room rather sooner than I thought.

Entering the room, I saw a large curtain blocking the view of his bed. That just made the atmosphere all the more intense. I clutched the flowers tightly, and continued through the room. As I got closer, I heard an intense wheezing sound, so in panic, I raced to my best friend's side. I immediately turned back around and glanced back at him. It was horrible.

Half his body laid beneath the cotton bed sheets, while his mangled upper half laid in the frigid hospital air. He had no shirt on, and most of his skin was wrapped in white bandages. The bandages had been almost completely soaked with now dry blood. His black hair was tangled with blood and dirt, most of it gathering in clumps. Various tubes and wires stuck out from his body and a respiratory mask was attached tightly to his face. He looked so horrid and injured, his face still distorted in pain. When I took the time studying him though, I noticed something weird with his eyes. Thin red lines surrounded his left eye. They were obviously veins, but their shape and color was peculiar. I decided to ask the doctor about it later.

Turning my attention from him, I looked over to an empty vase on the nightstand next to his bed. My anger rose up within my throat and I stood disgusted by the empty little thing sitting on the stand.

 _So she didn't come_ , I thought.

I shuffled over to the vase and set the roses on the stand, taking the time to unwrap them. I noticed a book on the nightstand. Even though it was covered in blood, I made out the title immediately.

The Black Goat's Egg.

I turned my full attention to the book and studied it, before finally taking it in my hands. I turned it over to the back, then to the cover. Before I knew it, I was opening the book, which was actually harder than I thought. The pages wouldn't open in some places. I fumbled angrily with it until the realization hit me.

The pages were stuck together with Kaneki's dried blood.

I froze and dropped the book back onto the stand. I felt a hot, nauseating sensation rise in my throat and I ran around the curtain and straight for the restroom. The sensation fought in my throat and I bust through the door, not bothering to turn on the light. I gave up with fighting back my vomit and let it all come out into what I hoped was the toilet. I sat hunched over the toilet bowl, watching as my breakfast flowed into the water.

A couple minutes later, I had flushed the toilet, washed out my mouth, and exited the restroom. _That was not pleasant_ , I stated in my mind, _not pleasant at all._

I entered the room again and immediately took notice of the new visitor in the room who must of snuck in as I was blowing chunks in the toilet. She noticed me walk out and stood up, smiling. She bowed before introducing herself,"Ah! Hello! My name is Takatsuki Sen. I umm… heard about the incident over the news." I stood there puzzled until my mind started playing with the name.

"Oh! You're the author of that book! The Black Sheep's Egg, right?"

She stifled a giggle, her shoulders and bouncing ever so slightly. Through laughs, she managed to correct me," It's… haha… The Black _Goat's_ Egg! Haha…" I flinched and grew red, exclaiming,"Oh man! I'm so sorry, that must be so insulting!"

She giggled harder, putting her hand up apologetically,"No, don't misunderstand. That was just too funny. Hahahaha!"

I too joined her and after a fit of laughter, and a warning from the nurse next door, we calmed down.

"So, Ms. Takatsuki, what brings you here."

She turned to Kaneki looking guilty, then turned to me saying,"I saw the accident on the news and rushed here. It surprisingly wasn't hard to get information out of the front desk. You'd think they wouldn't give out room numbers so freely…"

 _Tell me about it_ , I thought.

" … Anyway, I'd thought I'd come say hi to him. You know, give moral support! But err… he's a bit quiet. He was like that when I signed his book," she looked over to the flowers, then to the bloody book on the stand." It seems it was ruined," she said as she walked over to the nightstand. She picked up the book, and flipped through the now unstuck pages. She wasn't in the least bit phased by it and, after a quick browse of the book, flipped to the inside of the cover. A name was scribbled in deep black ink, which I concluded to be her signature. I watched as she studied the book for a while. She then smiled and commented,"Fufu… your friend must really like my work," she held up the book to my face and I took notice of the shape of the blood stains surrounding it. There was her name, but around it was a shape of a handprint surrounded in blood. I gasped and smiled weakly.

Kaneki was protecting her signature with his hand, not a drop of blood touching the ink.

I bowed my head and started to tear up. _All that… for a stupid book_ , I thought. I sniffled and wiped the tears threatening to escape my eyes. I looked up to see Ms. Takatsuki suppressing tears as well. I stared at her stunned as she gripped the book. "You know, I had taken notice of his uniform while he walked up to me, nervous and shaking. He works for that coffee shop, Anteiku, was it?" I nodded and she smiled.

"I guess I owe him one for protecting my book! I believe I have some pretty loyal fans and he's my noble knight, sooo… I'll treat him to some coffee when he gets out!"

I smiled back at her saying,"I'll think he'd like that."

Ms. Takatsuki gave a passing glance over Kaneki, but her eyes quickly darted to his left eye, watching the red veins pulse slightly. I couldn't tell if she was surprised by the it… or excited. "Is that supposed to happen?" she asked, perplexed by the sight. "I'm… not sure, I'm not a doctor," I answered back nervously.

She stared oddly for a bit, unable or embarrassed to speak. "Can I… touch it?" Takatsuki asked, almost barely audible. I shrugged, not sure if she could or couldn't. I watched as she slowly and gently laid her fingers over the eyelids. She traced the veins back and forth, staring into the little red things. _Oh man, Kaneki's gonna flip when I tell him about this_ , I thought. She then proceeded to pinch his upper eyelid, opening it to look at his eye. She didn't seem to be scared, worried, or excited anymore. She just looked blank.

Retreating from Kaneki, she faced me, bowed once again, and said her farewells. Soon, I was alone with Kaneki again, listen to him breathing hoarsely through the mask on his face.

 _What an oddball_ , I thought, _no wonder Kaneki loves her…_

. . . . . . . .

I sat on the chair next to Kaneki, watching his chest rise and fall with the rhythm of his breath. It was actually kind of calming. It was about 5:30 when I got to the room, but now the electronic clock read 7:46. School was exhausting, especially with everyone asking him about Kaneki, not out of worry, but more out of curiosity. I laid back my head and sighed heavily.

I began to think, _Man I could just fall asle-_

The hospital door swung open and a short, but plump, nurse entered, followed by a crowd of people. It was everyone of Anteiku, his _real_ family, besides me of course. The nurse spoke up,"Kaneki-kun has some visitors." I smiled at everyone, thanking them for coming, and I then led them to his bed. Irimi was the first to see, letting out a small gasp before retreating behind the curtain. Then Koma saw his bandaged body. He didn't retreat, but turned his head whispering, "Damn…" Mr. Yoshimura saw him next, but the old man simply bowed his head, giving a sorrowful expression. The only person next is Touka, and her reaction was a bit special. She bowed her head, simply muttering," Stupid…" She then turned around, buried her face into Mr. Yoshimura's chest, and began to whimper, in which he just simply rubbed her head, trying to soothe her. At this point, Irimi had come back, a box of tissues in hand. They both shared the box.

Minutes passed before we all could find the words to start a conversation.

"What's up with his eye?" Koma commented. Everyone leaned in closer, getting a better look, then they snapped back straight as a board. The sudden tension in the air alerted me, they were all too quiet. I raised my eyebrow," What's up?"

They all just shook their head, Irimi adding,"It's just… weird looking is all…"

I didn't buy it, so I was going to push further, saying,"Man, I'm beat! Hey, you guys want to talk and grab some food, I heard this place's food isn't that half bad!"

Touka ignored me, Koma declined, saying he had eaten already with Irimi, and Yoshimura politely declined. Trying to lighten up the mood, I decided to joke,"Hey Kaneki! You hungry? Let's go get somethin' to eat!"

I giggled to myself, but a barely audible word sliced through the air.

"... Sure…"

We all snapped our head to Kaneki, who was still seemingly sleeping. I darted out the room along with the Anteiku staff.

"Nurse! Nurse, my friend's awake!"

. . . . . . . .

 _(Kaneki's POV)_

I was in an empty space, but I strangely was also in water, I think. It felt like I was flying, not floating, and everything was black, but also blue. I was in a place that defied the rules of existence. I had been stripped of my blood covered clothes, my naked body floating through the space. I felt so happy as I saw my wounds from earlier close up. My stomach, shoulder, and neck had been healed the skin stretching over the red that was my insides. _Is this heaven_ , I thought, _did I go to the afterlife?_ I heard a shrill, antagonizing giggle, followed by," _Heaven? Afterlife? Did you think it was that easy to get away?"_ I was paralyzed with fear, but I watched as a red and sinister _evil_ flowed from the dark below.

The Evil licked at my feet, hungry. The redness was solid, but liquid at the same time, and as it wrapped around my ankles, the Evil enveloped my leg in cold. The iciness spread to my other leg, then to my arms and torso, until it stopped at my neck. I struggled against it and I sunk into the Evil further. I cried out for help, but no sound came out, nor would anyone hear me if a sound _was_ made.

As I looked down, a slimey and dark patch of Evil took shape. The figure floated above me, taking the form of a woman. She was curvy, slender, and tall. Her hair glowed a purple tinge, and her wicked smile made me want to retreat into the Evil that was consuming me. I floated or flew in place, and she slowly drifted towards me, letting her luscious lips press against my ear. She parted her lips and whispered," _I'll make you like me…_ "

I saw as red flowed from her lower back, thin and wispy. I soon realized it was blood. She reached into her lower back and ripped out a liver shaped organ. She held in front of me triumphantly, like a dog retrieving a ball thrown by its owner. " _Replace,"_ she whispered. A thin line of pain erupted in my back, and I felt my flesh peel away, my spine, ribs, and organs fully visible. The lady then leaned over me, delicately placing the "liver" along my lower spine. The whole process was agonizing, but she very quickly put the skin back in place and sealed it up with the trace of her fingers.

" _Now, the cherry on top!"_

She then thrust her fingers (all five of them) into my left eye socket. I wailed and struggled in pain, but once again, my voice was not there, and I could not move. She played around in my eye socket for a while twisting her fingers in and out before savagely ripping out my eye. It took her three pulls to actually get it out, all the while I'm nauseous from the pain. With my eye no removed, blood poured out of the hole in my head at an alarming rate, yet I didn't die. Next, she pulled at her own left eye, ripping it out with no emotion. Blood flowed from everywhere and I felt suddenly suffocated. She dangled the little thing in front of me, and I stared into a black abyss and the glowing red iris of a monster's eye.

" _Like me, we both hurt, Ken Kaneki. Welcome to the wonderful world of hate, death, and pain. You're one of_ us _now, are you okay with that?"_

I nodded, softly whispering _,"Sure…"_

The woman turned the black eye around and inserted it into my left eye socket. At first, I could still only see with my right eye, but my vision slowly came back into my left eye, which now tingled. Then, everything just stopped, and the space was flooded with black and red.

. . . . . . . .

My eyes snapped open, the left one still tingling slightly.

It was very bright, but I could make out the silhouettes of many people in a small room. I wheezed and coughed, a machine beeping in sync with my breathing. I couldn't see out my left eye again, so I absently reached at it. One silhouette jumped at me, grabbing my hand.

"Now now Mr. Kaneki, I know you're eager to see, but please keep the eyepatch on. Your left eye is very sensitive right now," a soothing voice whispered. It was a man, perhaps a decade or two younger then the manager. I tried to speak out, but my throat rasped.

"Please, take it easy Mr. Kaneki. My name is Dr. Kanou. I performed your surgery. I know you have a lot of questions right now, but please rest. Later, we have _much_ to discuss. I just obeyed and dropped my hand to my side, looking at the other people in the room. I still couldn't see them, but a few waved. I felt so overwhelmed, so I dropped my head back, nodding off to sleep again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just wanted to say thanks for all the positive feedback, it makes me very happy to see so many enjoy this pretty mediocre fanfiction. Either way, I plan to bring more plot to the table as far as an introduction to Hinami and her mother, Aogiri, and the CCG. I don't want to spoil too much, so let's get going!**

 **-Hardcore Hamsta**

. . . . . . . .

 _(Kaneki's POV)_

My stay at the hospital was fairly nice. The nurses were astonishingly nice, along with Dr. Kanou, who walked me through the whole thing.

"So, Kaneki-kun, how much do you remember from the accident?"

I sat in silence, not really thinking about it all that much.

Finally, I answered,"Well… there was a lady, in an alley. She was calling for help, and it was pretty late at night. I thought there was a mugging, so I got closer to investigate. It was really… dark, and… silent." Dr. Kanou sat silently, hanging onto my every word. "As I got closer, I realized she was hurt, so I rushed to her," I continued," I don't have a phone, so I was going to go find a payphone or something to call an ambulance. She started talking to me though, mumbling 'help me, help me.' I told her I was going to help her and she…" My voice trailed off, as I recounted the accident and the dream I had.

"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it Kaneki, this is very normal in cases like yours," Dr. Kanou soothed. I wanted to tell him though, I wanted to tell the world about what I saw.

I cleared my throat and began,"Doctor, I think what attacked me last night was a… ghoul."

Dr. Kanou stared at me intently, observing my frightened eyes. "Kaneki," he answered," the lady you saw that night wasn't a ghoul."

"What?!"

"Yes," he recounted,"the lady who attacked was merely deranged and hurt. It was, as you said, a mugging. The unfortunate soul was shot and left for dead. When you came across her, she was on the brink of death, most likely dying in your arms."

I sat in my hospital bed, wide eyed. "If she wasn't a ghoul, then what about the tentacles?" I countered. Dr. Kanou chuckled,"That was most likely a hallucination, due to shock. It's very common in cases of attack and what not. Take for example, someone dying in the road, and they see their dead mother driving by them. It's about the same as that. As for your injuries, she seemed to take quite a chunk out of your shoulder and neck. But your stomach is a different story…"

I ran my hand over the healing wound in my stomach. That's what made me think a lot about this whole thing. If she didn't slice through me with her tentacles, then what could leave such a large hole in my abdomen?

Dr. Kanou seemed to know what I was thinking and answered for me,"Your stomach wound was most likely the doing of the lady, but not by her 'tentacles.' She simply just… ahem… ripped open your stomach, which is fairly hard thing to do."

 _She ripped me open?!_

"But Doctor! All of that couldn't have been some terror induced hallucination!"

Dr. Kanou looked over me, apologetically,"It was Kaneki. It was…"

"MY EYE!" I shouted,"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN MY EYE BEING BLACK AND RED!?"

Dr. Kanou put his hands up, saying,"Kaneki, look into the mirror…"

And so I did. Flipping out of bed, I raced towards the bathroom. The light was already on so I just stood in front of the mirror, prepping myself for the reveal.

 _I'll show you, you stupid doctor!_

I ripped my cloth eyepatch off, staring triumphantly in the mirror. But my victory didn't even last a second. There in the mirror, two gray and slightly bloodshot eyes looked into my own. Soon, I realized they were mine.

I kneeled down in disbelief and anguish, tears dripping from my eyes. I heard Dr. Kanou's footsteps echo into my ears, as I sobbed onto the floor. "Kaneki, let me help you into your bed," he said. I just nodded and cried as he helped me back to my little prison. I didn't notice the intense pain in my stomach and legs until I relaxed back into my bed. The adrenaline numbed it as I raced to the bathroom, but now it felt like a fire was erupting in the pit of my stomach, one in which I couldn't extinguish. Dr. Kanou told the nurses not to give me any pain medication, as a reminder not to move like that again, and left me to my silence once again. That made me hate him a little more, but I knew he was doing what was best for me, even though what's best for me hurts.

. . . . . . . .

After the nurse had finally given me painkillers, my lunch was brought to me. I haven't been allowed to eat since I woke up. The hunger in my stomach seemed to scrape against my midsection, threatening to come out. The nurse casually walked in, carrying the tray of food. Drool seeped out of my lips, my hunger just intensifying. The nurse seemed to notice my savage, animalistic face and she still delivered my food. She was brave because even I knew that my face must have been terrifying.

She quickly retreated behind the curtain and I sat upright in my hospital bed, analyzing my tray of food. The tray consisted of rice, soup, fish, and a little chocolate cake. I felt so hungry, I could eat anything. I snatched the chopsticks that were also lying in the tray, fixating them in my hands. I quickly grabbed the fish with my chopsticks and stuffed it into my mouth. Relief surged through my body, but quickly fell apart, being replaced by disgust and repulsion.

The fish rolled around in my mouth unpleasantly, feeling as if I were eating a bundled up ball of veins and arteries. It tasted so rancid, like rotting meat embedded with maggots. My mouth tensed up, and my nose crinkled in disgust. My eyes watered, and soon, liquid erupted from my stomach and then splattered into my tray. All of the other foods were ruined, being covered with yellowish vomit. My mouth was dry and almost tasteless. To be honest, my own vomit tasted better than the "food."

The nurses quickly came into the room after I called them, exclaiming,"Mr. Kaneki! Oh my God, hold on! Don't move! Ehh… get the Janitor!" I obeyed and simply sat there as the nurses took the plate, and the janitor mopped up the vomit. I was given a fresh set of clothes and within fifteen minutes, my bed was clean and the floor was shiny. Dr. Kanou came in shortly after and sat down with me, looking not at all worried.

"Please don't be discouraged Kaneki, this is all normal."

 _Can he tell me anything other than "That's normal"?!_

"Your body simply can't handle solid foods like this and is rejecting it. Give it about another two… maybe three days, and you should be able to eat anything you want!" Dr. Kanou got up, after doing a routine check-up, and left.

So continued my stay in hell…

. . . . . . . .

My stay in hell, was in total, six days. I was escorted out of my room, and down to the lobby, leaving my comfy bed to another person who most likely just escaped the jaws of death. My nurses and Dr. Kanou said their farewells, and I left through the glass doors and back into the bustling city of Tokyo. I had the blood soaked copy of The Black Goat's Egg, clutched to my side, earning me more than a few concerned stares. I struggled to walk and my eye was still covered by the eyepatch. It felt comfortable to wear, and I also wore it just incase my eye _changed_. Dr. Kanou tried to convince me it was all part of a hallucination, just some figment of my mind, but I knew better. She and I knew better. Wait what? _She and I, she and I, she and I,_ the words kept echoing in my mind, trying to make sense even though it couldn't. She showed me her eye and her red limbs. I saw it, and that damn doctor told me otherwise?! He's lucky _we_ don't eat his fucking heart! We?

 _Why do you keep saying those things, you're making me say them?!_

" _ **I don't know, why do you keep saying those things? Is it me…,**_ " the lady turned to me and pointed at my stomach," … _**or is it that little monster in your delicious little tummy? Fufufu…"**_

I can't tell my voice from her's, and I can't tell what my thoughts are. I forgot which street I was on, forgot the people which surrounded me as I silently walked on, and I forgot who I was. I only saw the lady who attacked me that night, and she walked with me, into the everlasting darkness. My left eye slightly burned and my hunger grew stronger than my own physical strength. The hunger drove me and led me as I walked, the lady now clutching my arm like we were on a date. She smiled at me with black and red eyes, and I smiled back at her with my one gray eye, the other being red and black as well. I felt so jumbled up, like my thoughts were randomly just spilling out into the world I now inhabited.

" _ **Kaneki-kun! Let's go to the bookstore! You can't possibly expect to keep that blood soaked book can you?"**_ she asked _ **,"Ah! Nevermind, let's keep it! It's proof that we are one, that our blood has mixed and created something better! This will be our world, one that we can feast upon to settle our savage desires. All these people will be nothing but cattle, killed to make our feast! We could eat hamburgers, and cake, and fish, and MeAt! AHAHAHA!"**_

 _I'd like that, I'd… LOVE THAT!_

"Kaneki-kun?"

I snapped back out of my world and stood face to face with Takatsuki Sen, her face seeming as cheerful as the last time I had met her, a purse also dangling from her shoulder. I was smiling wickedly, and my left eye was still burning profusely. "Kaneki-kun, are you okay? You seem a little pale. Is it because you're so surprised to see me!? Ohh, you're so sweet Kaneki-kun!" I stood perplexed and dazed, not thinking very clearly. So, in response, I mumbled back,"... hun- hungry…" Takatsuki lit up like a Christmas tree, dragging me to the nearest coffee shop.

In no time at all, three plates of cakes and sandwiches were placed in front of us, Ms. Takatsuki digging into the feast. "Well," she began gleefully," you said you were hungry Kaneki, so eat!"

I looked down sheepishly at the ham and cheese sandwiches and frosted cakes. _How'd I get into this?_ I thought. I carefully took the sandwich in my hands, looking down at it like it was poison. It looked fairly normal, but the smell got to me. The sandwich gave off a smell which, when it flooded my nostrils, made me want to vomit right here at the table. I looked away and then back at it, trying to wave away the smell. "Oi," Ms. Takatsuki blurted out with her cheeks full of cake," you gonna eat or what? I am paying for all this ya know…" She sounded kind of like Hide.

I didn't want to eat it, I felt like I couldn't, but soon after all of this was coursing through my head, I took the biggest bite I could, almost devouring the thing in one bite.

A very bad idea to say the least.

I raced to the bathroom before the tasting process started, because when it did start, I just wanted to die. It started off unpleasantly disgusting, like chewing on roadkill squished between decaying skin, with a hint of spoiled cheese. The next part was extremely unpleasant, as my throat seemed to widen to the size of a baseball, allowing a gallon load of vomit to fall into the now stained toilet. There were chunks of sandwich and something else, which I didn't want to identify. Tears leaked out of my eyes, soaking my cloth eyepatch, mingling with the vomit. There then was a knocking on the door, followed by Ms. Takatsuki shouting,"Kaneki-san, are you okay?!" I answered weakly back," Ye- yes… just a bit si-sick…" I flushed the toilet and joined Ms. Takatsuki back at the table. My eyes were red, and my breath was horrid.

Ms. Takatsuki began to speak,"You gave me quite a fright Kaneki-kun. Can you still not eat because of the accident? Please tell me that before I pressure you into eating." I apologized, and looked down, evidently embarrassed by the incident. Ms. Takatsuki called over a waitress, ordering a coffee, with no sugar or anything in it. "Here Kaneki, try this. It should get the taste out of your mouth." I clasped my hand around the cup, actually scared. _I can't eat anything,_ I thought, _how can I drink this?!_ My hands started to tremble, sending little ripples throughout the black, warm liquid. I felt the same pressure that I felt before, when I ate the sandwich. It was so terrifying, like a cloud of evil had drifted over me, encouraging me to succumb to pain and to endure that pain.

This pressure came from Ms. Takatsuki.

So, like the little bitch I am, I drank the coffee, prepared for the sickness. But it didn't come, instead the usual sickness was flooded by warmth and flavor. The coffee was bitter, but it wasn't unbearable, and it was so warm. Relief washed over me and I smiled. "Is it that good Kaneki-kun?" I mumbled back,"Yes," my face turning bright red. She giggled and stood up. "Well, now that I have taken you out on a little date, I must go. Sorry we couldn't talk more Kaneki-kun, but I have very important business. Oh yeah, hold on…" Ms. Takatsuki rummaged through her purse, pulling out what looked to be a freshly bought copy of The Black Goat's Egg. "... since your other copy got ruined, I bought you a new one." Ms. Takatsuki placed the book in front of me and bid me farewell.

I felt so unsatisfied though, like this whole conversation seemed one sided. I jumped out of my seat, brutally hitting my leg on the table leg. The sound made Ms. Takatsuki look back. There I was though, bowing deeply, while stating very loudly,"Thank you! Ms. Takatsuki, this time with you has been wonderful! Please allow me to make it up to you some day!" My face was no doubt as red as a tomato, and my back ached from bowing so deeply. Ms. Takatsuki giggled, answering back,"Don't worry, you'll be able to make it up to me _very_ soon. Farewell!" With that, she left, myself following out the the door soon after.

. . . . . . . .

My next stop was Anteiku. The day was still bright, but night was drawing near. So, I hurried over to the shop, energetic to greet my co-workers.

I burst through the doors, the bell dinging loudly. "Come on! I was just about to get off my shift! Make it qui-"

Touka-chan looked me in the eyes, startled by my sudden appearance. I smiled brightly, ecstatic to be back. The classical music and the smell invited me warmly, followed by Koma and Irimi leaving their tasks to welcome me. Even a few customers called out to me, welcoming me back. Koma ruffled my hair, while Irimi pulled my right cheek. "Kaneki-kun! Back so early? We were starting to get used to you not being here!" Koma blurted. Irimi socked him in the arm, saying," Don't listen to him Kaneki, he's just jealous that we would miss you more than him!" Koma grumpily folded his arms, answering back,"Hey, that's pretty mean you know!" I laughed, calmly stating,"I'd miss you Koma!" He let out a manly chuckle,"Haha! You make it so hard to dislike you Kaneki!" We all laughed and turned to Touka, who seemed grumpy with my welcoming."Hey, Touka-chan," Koma called,"you're acting like a major tsundere right now!" Touka stared daggers back at him,"What was that you ape!? Acting so high and mighty will get you killed!" We again bursted into a fit of laughter.

The Manager entered the room and his face wrinkled into a smile. Manager walked over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder, saying,"Welcome back Kaneki-kun." I happily and confidently stated back to him,"It's good to be back Sir!" He chuckled and everyone, even Touka, inquired about my stay about the hospital. "Lemme see the scar Kaneki!" Koma said. Irimi smacked him on the head, explaining how rude that was. I had no problem with it though, and I lifted up my shirt to reveal my old wounds. Everyone observed my stomach, but Irimi just said,"Kaneki, I don't… see anything." I looked down too, but saw no scars either. It was very odd, but I dismissed it. Looking around though, everyone, even the Manager, seemed quite worried about it. Then, Touka asked about my eyepatch. I answered, putting my hand on my chin,"It's just a precaution. You know, so it doesn't get infected or anything like that." That still didn't seem to satisfy them, but we got off that topic when Koma inquired about the "hot nurses" that took care of me.

About an hour later, I had grown tired, and had left Anteiku. Everyone seemed to want to chat more, but it reached 8:00 in no time. As I walked down the street, she had appeared again. The lady whispered into my ear.

" _ **You love them, don't you?"**_

The voice didn't seem to scare me anymore, and I engaged in conversation with it, like any other friend.

 _I do. They have treated me like their own flesh and blood. They have accepted me, and I can never dream to repay them._

" _ **How sweet. They're like your family, besides Mom of course."**_

 _Yeah, I'm hungry. Maybe Mom can actually make me something that I can eat._

" _ **Who knows? Maybe you can only drink coffee, maybe you can only eat**_ **one thing…"**

 _Yeah, maybe I can only eat meat. Maybe, maybe, maybe… I can only eat_ people _. What am I saying?! People? Can I eat anything? People, people, people, people… Is it possible? I mean, you ate parts of me._

" _ **That I did, and you were DELICIOUS! Hahaha, your meat was so tender… so juicy… so GoOD! HAhahAHaHAhahahaHA!"**_

 _STOP! That's creepy! I'm not like you, I won't turn into a bloodthirsty monster like you! I'll beat it!_ But, I began to weep a little, like I knew what was coming next.

" _ **Oh yeah?! Try to beat it! I dare you! Because, let me tell you, hunger for**_ **us** _**is HELL!"**_

The lady wrapped her arms around me and laid her head down on my shoulder.

 _Stop, please. Just leave. Get out of my HEAD! YOU'RE A DAMN MONSTER! I'M NOT LIKE YOU!_

" _ **Oh yeah? What are you doing right now?"**_

My mind seemed to be floating in euphoria, my body numb and shaking in pleasure. Warm fluid leaked from my mouth, and the most delicious food ever to be created was in my mouth. It was chewy, and the food got easily stuck in my teeth. _So good_ , I thought. I used my fingernail to dig out the food from between my molars, taking the chance to study it. It was a fairly small piece of squishy _meat_ , and the fluid which squeezed from it was red. It smelt distinctly like iron, but my mind said that it was Mom's hamburgers.

 _Where did this delicious meat come from?!_

" _ **Look in front of you, my dear Kaneki."**_

And so I did.

I looked down at the source of the food which satisfied my hunger.

Mom.

She laid down, under my weight, her eyes wide with fear. "Mom, why are you so scared? It's just me."

She didn't answer.

"Mom, what's wr-"

I looked closely at her face. Tears were in her eyes, her glasses discarded along the floor to our right. Blood trickled brightly from her mouth. I stood up, my knees weak. I noticed how my pants were soaked with blood and urine. Blood was everywhere though, on the walls, on my face, and all over my Mom. Her pink dress now shone bright red, accompanied by a gaping hole in her abdomen. Her face never changed shape, and sat completely fearful.

She's dead.

I looked into my hands and noticed the warm intestines wrap around my hand, before leading back to her stomach. The skin around her wound was brutally torn apart, revealing the rest of her entrails.

It dawned on me what the food that I adored so much actually _was_.

It was the meat and organs of my dead mother, whom I had killed and ripped open.

" _ **Well, I guess what Dr. Kanou said**_ **was** _**true. It is hard to rip open a person's stomach…"**_

 _I… did this?!_

" _ **You did my dear, and it was quite hilarious watching you frantically rip her open. I mean, you had to bite her skin open then rip her apart! It looked like a child biting open a bag of candy, ready to eat it all. Fufufu…"**_

 _I ate her… and liked it. She tasted SO good! But, but, but, but, but, then that would mean I'm a… I'm a-_

" _ **You're a what, Kaneki-kun?"**_

 _I'm a…_

 _I'm a Ghoul?_

" _ **HAHAHA! It took you so long to realize it! Yes, you're a GHOUL! Now, eat to your heart's content my dear KANEKI!"**_

I looked down into the face of my dead Mother and began to cry hysterically, as I was no longer hungry, but I still wanted her to make some hamburgers...


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

 **It's Hamsta-sensei, and I would like to take some time to thank everyone for reading. I was a little apprehensive about writing a Tokyo Ghoul fanfiction, being scared that I would let you all down if I stopped mid way. I do get bored of these things quite quickly, but hopefully my love for Tokyo Ghoul will keep my passion ablaze. Also, please give me some ideas, you know for some little side stories maybe. I would love to see the ideas you guys give me, and then try to incorporate them into the dark setting of Tokyo Ghoul. If you do suggest something, and I don't write in the story, that's probably because the idea wouldn't fit right, causing me to think of possible other paths to take. Please do not be discouraged if I don't pick your idea, I still love you all! With all that said, I give you my sincerest thanks, and now ENJOY!**

 **-Hardcore Hamsta**

. . . . . . . .

 _(Kaneki's Mother's POV)_

My shaky hands carefully cut the fine pieces of white paper. I was so used to the job, but still I made mistakes, causing me to start over. The process was so tiresome and repetitive, the _snip_ of the scissors mesmerized me every time I started a new one. The job which I was tasked with, was rose making. I have been doing this for more than fifteen years I suppose. Even with the long time of practice though, I'm getting older, finding myself forgetting things more easily. It's a sad cycle, especially when compared to my earlier, more adventurous stages in life. Now, I'm a mother, with no husband, a growing young son, and a less than stable income. I can't remember a night since before Ken's father died that I've gone asleep with no cumbersome burdens and responsibilities, weighing me down in my sleep.

Nonetheless, I've found quite a pleasure in making origami roses, which I sell to an older woman downstairs. She's quite fond of them, and it warms my heart to bring her happiness. Though, I love rose making, it could never keep Ken and I afloat, especially in today's economy. I need to pay bills,(most of which are paid late) schooling fees, groceries, and of course my sister. The poor thing is barely surviving, with all these repairs and bills she needs to pay. She has a family as well, a young boy around Ken's age, and her husband of course. It's not a lot of help, but I give her what I can. So, I also work as a late night garbage collector, a rather laborious job as well. It's okay though, to keep _everyone_ alive, I need to be strong and just suck it up!

My hands suddenly gave out, the strength in them receding, the scissors clanging onto the floor. I bowed my head slightly, letting the strands of my graying hair fall around my face like a curtain. That little curtain seemed to block out the world as I wept hysterically, like I did most nights. It was an endless cycle, much like life. My tears fell and flowed onto my glasses. My eyes burned and my head ached, my hands shaking still.

They never did seem to stop shaking…

It was just like back then. The first time I hit him. My eyes burned like lava was flowing from my tear ducts, and my breath grew short. I felt so guilty, and I should have for giving him so much pain. I bet he thinks I don't love him, but that's not true. I love him so much that I can't even begin to comprehend it. He's my flesh and blood, the only other thing left behind by my husband. God, I hated that man for leaving me such a hard life, but I still loved him more than anyone in the world, except for Ken of course. That passion never left me.

Letting my heart hurt for a few more minutes, I then hastily wiped my tears away, leaving my eyes flushed a faint red. I then cleaned my glasses off with the edge of my sleeve, sniffling while retrieving the scissors from the floor.

Suddenly, the door opened, causing me to jump a little. I let out a mumbled shout,"Welcome home Ken." There was no answer and heavy footsteps thudded in the hallway. An intruder? I looked back alarmed, clutching the scissors tightly. The footsteps got deeper, thudding more heavily. I shook now, clearly scared. This wasn't Ken, the footsteps were too heavy and Ken would always give me some indication of him getting home, like a knock or something. Plus, this person didn't take their shoes off at the door.

"Hello!"

I sat at my table, with the roses scattered all over. They usually calmed me, but now I was sick to my stomach. There, at the entrance to the living room, stood a fully grown man with a mask on. The mask gave off the impression of a clown and his suit was an extremely nice white.

"Who are you?!" I uttered.

He didn't answer, but just stepped slowly forward, the sinister etching of a smile burning into my eyes.

"STAY BACK!" I screamed in terror.

I lunged forward, the scissors gripped tightly in my hands, the edge pointed directly at the man's heart. My feet slammed into the ground and my hands thrust forward at such a surprising speed and I realized that I had crossed the room in seconds. But, my hands just kept traveling, almost seeming to be suspended in mid-air. The man stood there though, unflinching and making no effort to move at all. After what seemed like an eternity though, the point of the scissors slammed into his chest and my body tensed up.

"We can't have that Ms. Kaneki."

The man still hadn't moved, and, shocked, I looked up into his chest to see the puncture wound. There was no entry point, but only the bent and destroyed remains of the scissors being held in my shaking, terrified hands. His suit had a slit in it, showing his pale skin underneath.

"Everyone should know Ms. Kaneki... "

The intruder grabbed my wrist forcefully, seeming to shatter the bones in my hand and halfway up my arm.

"...THAT GHOULS CAN'T BE HURT BY SUCH THINGS!"

He then pulled me forward into what seemed like a dance before brutally shoving his hands through my abdomen. I let out a squeal and watched as my blood spilled onto the floor and soaked into his suit sleeve. My legs buckled and I feel to my knees, the pain becoming more and more uncontrollable. The man knelt down next to me, holding my broken arm in his left hand, my throat in the other.

"Wh-wh-why… Yo-yo-you…" I spat out, blood erupting from deep within my throat.

"Ms. Kaneki," he uttered apologetically," please don't take this personally. I merely only wish to see the growth of Subject 256384, or Ken Kaneki if you will. You see, your young boy is in _our_ hands now, which means we'll take very good care of him. He is the perfect subject… the Alpha. And he… will bring about our Last Laugh. _Hahahaha_ , in fact, if everything goes to plan, your little boy should be here soon, ready to eat! So… make a great _meal_ for him, and farewell."

The man slid his arm out of my stomach, inviting a fresh wave of pain into my abdomen. He stood up and licked his hands clean. I looked around and watched dolefully as my blood pooled below me. It was so warm and sticky that it somehow felt… comforting. The man still stood above me, I suppose to make sure I was actually dead.

"Ke-Ke-Ken, sweet-sweetie?" I forced out through tears.

"He's not here ma'am. And to be fair…" the man knelt down again beside me,"... I think you don't have the right to call yourself his mother. We've been watching a looong time, and may I say, you really know how to _hit_. I mean, you left some great bruises, and though he may not remember it now, he'll remember one day. He'll remember the pain you put him through…"

I began to weep.

 _But, I have to help Sis and her family. I have to take care of Ken. I have to… make it up to him._

"HeY MooOOoM! I'm HooOoOme!"

"Well, speak of the devil, look who it is! I must be going now, he can't know our involvement yet. Ta-ta!"

The man dashed out the kitchen, and then out the back door, which led to the balcony.

Then, I heard the footsteps again. They gave off the same eerie feeling as the footsteps thudded on the floor, but I ignored and mustered my strength to call for Ken.

"Ke-Ke-Ke-Ken, Sweet-sweetie! He-he-help meee…"

The footsteps seemed to quicken, and then as suddenly as they began, they stopped. I slowly looked over to Ken in hope, in desperation. But my, emotions just leaked out like the blood pouring from my stomach.

"Wow! ThaNks For tHEeee FooOODd!"

I didn't know what happened after that, as my eyes closed and everything seemed to just… drift away.

I do know one thing though, and that was that Ken was no longer _Ken_. One of his eyes was black and red, and his mouth was drooling from what seemed to be hunger.

He looked _animalistic._

He looked _hungry_.

He looked…

No longer _human._

. . . . . . . .

 _(Touka's POV)_

After the last of the customers had left, Anteiku was ready to close down for the night and I was ready to get back home to sleep. Yoshimura made me stay an extra hour because Kaneki wasn't here to close up like he usually was. _That idiot,_ I thought, _even though he's not here, he still makes me angry._ Irritated, I stacked the rest of the dishes and cups that were still left out to my chest and carried them to the sink. Koma and Irimi were out getting supplies for the shop and what not, so I was stuck cleaning up. Night had crept up on me suddenly, and the shop was slightly darker than usual, giving off a creepy feeling. I began scrubbing the crumbs and remains of food off the plates, watching them float down the drain. I moved onto the next plate, then to the next, and so on. Halfway through the job, I studied a certain plate. It had chocolate icing smeared across it, the remnants of Anteiku's special chocolate cake.

It was so tempting, yet I controlled myself.

 _You know what will happen,_ I convinced myself.

Sighing, I washed the plate off with soap and dried it. Soon, all the plates were clean and shiny and I then went to the changing room, switching out my uniform for a green jacket, a white t-shirt underneath, and a pair of rather small jean shorts. I flipped my hair to the side, revealing my right eye for a second before the curtain of blue hair covered it again. I traveled back to the front of the shop, grabbing the keys to the front door. Ready to leave, I walked to the door and reached for the handle.

Suddenly, the door flew open, hitting me to the floor.

"Hey JACKASS!" I yelled,"CAN'T YOU SEE THE SHOP'S CLOSED?!"

I growled angrily, ready to bash in the head of the late-comer. I got to my feet, and steadied my arm to punch the person when I froze.

There in the door, stood Kaneki, covered in tears and blood.

"Touka-chan… HELP ME!"

. . . . . . . .

At around twelve o'clock that same night, all of Anteiku's staff had gathered in the quiet little resting room upstairs from the shop. Kaneki's clothes had been changed out, Koma lending him a rather large pairs of clothes. The blood which had stained him those minutes ago had been thoroughly scrubbed from his skin and hair. He also spent a considerable amount of time vomiting out the remains of his mother, even though his body had broken down a lot of it already. Now, we all sat and watched as Kaneki bawled his eyes out, trying to explain the events which had transpired after he left Anteiku all those hours ago. I sat, absolutely heartbroken and scared. If what he was saying was all true, we have a LOT of trouble headed our way.

"I-I-I killed her!" Kaneki gasped through sobs,"I KILLED her, then ATE her! It's her fault! She made me want to eat her!"

Yoshimura stepped into the conversation, putting his hand on Kaneki's shoulder,"Who made you eat her Kaneki-kun?"

Kaneki clapped his hands to his temples forcefully, shouting out," The lady! The one who attacked me! She's in my head, I can hear her, tempting me to eat people! She made me go crazy, and I-I-"

Koma, Irimi, and I just stared at him in shock, while Yoshimura smiled gently at Kaneki, trying to calm him. It seemed to work at first, but Kaneki just kept crying and crying, to the point where it got annoying, but who was I to tell him to be quiet right now.

"What am I going to do Manager?! I-I-I can't go back, the Police will find me."

"Kaneki," Yoshimura said," it won't be the Police who take you in, but the CCG will."

After saying that though, all the work to make the Kaneki calm down came tumbling down.

"Huh?! The Commission of Counter Ghoul? Why will they come after me!? I'm not a-a-"

Then, Yoshimura produced a small package from a mini-fridge in the corner of the room. I knew instantly what it was because I myself have not eaten in almost three weeks. The smell was distinct and noticeable from even here across the room. It was meat.

Kaneki's nose twitched slightly and his head snapped back to Yoshimura, clearly interested. Yoshimura smiled at Kaneki and handed him the little wrapped package.

"Manager," Kaneki started," I don't think I'm very hungry right now. I appreciate the thought though, it smell good."

"I had hoped it wouldn't Kaneki-kun," Yoshimura stated.

He then unwrapped the package, shoving the contents into Kaneki's face. Kaneki jumped back and I stood up abruptly, yelling," Yoshimura!"

In Yoshimura's old, wrinkled hands was a pale and cold severed arm. Kaneki hid behind his chair, shaking and scared. "Manager!" he yelled,"Why do you have that?!" I then took my attention from the arm and then to Kaneki. My stomach dropped and my blood ran cold because Kaneki's left, gray eye was not gray, but black, with his iris a blood red. Red, pulsing veins spread across the left side of his face.

Yoshimura then protruded a mirror from seemingly nowhere and held it up to Kaneki's face. Kaneki cowered farther behind the chair, panting in shock and fear.

Yoshimura then stated," Kaneki-kun, you are not human anymore. You are a 'Ghoul,' a monster to forever be feared and hated by humans. And everyone here… is also a 'Ghoul.'"

Still standing, I walked forward and stopped directly in front of Kaneki. He just stared at me, waiting for me to prove Yoshimura wrong. But, I let him down. Focusing on the severed arm and my hunger, I let my eyes change black and red, both of them now tingling. "Touka-chan…" Kaneki muttered. I bowed my head, ashamed for some reason, and said,"Sorry Kaneki." His jaw dropped open and he ran for the door, trying to no avail to open it. Now, Koma and Irimi stood up, letting their eyes change as well. Kaneki was now shaking in the corner, yelling,"Wait! Please… please don't eat me! I'm sorry! I'll leave, just please don't eat me!"

Yoshimura calmly chuckled, saying," Kaneki-kun we're not going to eat you. We want to help you because, after all, it's Anteiku's job to help our fellow Ghouls."

"NO!" Kaneki shouted," I'm not like you monsters! I'm human!"

"Why… you piece of shit!" I yelled at him.

"Touka-chan?!" he shouted, terrified as I advanced towards him.

Rage was boiling in my throat now, and I angrily threw a punch into his gut. Kaneki gasped out in pain, but I still kept going.

"We want to help you, you idiot! You can't go back, you're not human anymore! But then again, you're too weak to be a Ghoul! If you don't want to be a Ghoul, and you can't be human, then you're nothing!"

I kept throwing punches into his gut, a couple to his face, and then a kick into his throat. Kaneki couldn't keep going so I decided to stop, only just realizing what I was doing. I looked over at him now, blood and bruises covering his face, blood now flowing onto his new and baggy shirt. He looked completely broken and battered for a second, but then his bruises lost color and they receded back into his skin. The blood stopped flowing from his nose and lips and now his face looked good as new.

He healed.

Kaneki must have also noticed his pain vanish because he moved his hand up to his face in surprise.

"Wow, you heal fast," I mumbled,"But, that's a good example for you. If you weren't a Ghoul, how could you heal like that? Answer me Bakaneki!"

Yoshimura stepped in, trying to break us up."Touka-chan, that's quite enough," he said. I backed down, still boiling with anger though. Now, Kaneki huddled up into a ball, muttering,"She's right Manager, I'm nothing!"

Yoshimura gave the same old reassuring smile and countered,"No, Kaneki, you are both human and Ghoul." Kaneki looked at him confused, and Yoshimura continued,"You are the only person to have experienced both worlds. You know the fear and pain of being a human, but also know the fear and pain of being a Ghoul. You know the fear of hiding from Ghouls as a human, and the fear of your own hunger as a Ghoul. You are a… Half-Ghoul and either way, you are an employee of Anteiku. You are Family…"

Kaneki looked at all of us, a room of monsters and he began to tear up.

Yoshimura began again,"Won't you stay with us Kaneki-kun?"

I looked between the two of them and waited for an answer. A part of me deep down seemed to really want him to say yes, but another part of me wanted him to just leave and never come back. He's too dangerous…

"I'm sorry Manager," he whispered,"I've been so unthankful and disrespectful, please… I'm sorry! So please… help me! I don't want to leave, I love it here. I love everyone here as my family so… will you be my new family?"

Surprised, I looked at Yoshimura, who just kept smiling.

He was silent for a long time before answering.

"But of course, Kaneki-kun. We'll always be your family and you can always depend on us…"

Kaneki looked up, astonished and he began to cry once again, but now he seemed cry happily instead of sadly. That part of me that wanted him to leave felt guilty, and I also felt happy that he would stay here. It was as Yoshimura said, he was family, and family always help each other.

And so, everyone in that room that night decided to help Kaneki, including me. He had no one except us in this cruel world.

Little did we know the tragedy he would bring upon us.


	5. Chapter 5

(Kaneki's POV)

I sat in my new bedroom, watching the daily news. I thought about the horrible, terrifying night which I experienced the day before and I knew they would report on the incident. Ghoul attacks were common, so the news usually just made a special section each morning that contained the names of people who fell victim to Ghoul attacks. Mom and I's incident was pretty uncommon though; the murder of a mother, whose son was kidnapped by ghouls, only to get away and seek help hours later. That was what the news reported, but all of us at Anteiku knew what actually happened. We knew that my Mother was killed by me, then feasted upon. Instead, Manager called the CCG, reporting the return of a child who just escaped Ghoul captivity. The CCG were there within eight minutes, copying down names, statements, and addresses. It turns out, an elderly woman who Mom usually sold flowers to had come to get her pickup, and found the door open. Venturing inside, she found the remains of my Mother and phoned the police, reporting a dead body and a missing teenager. They raced to Anteiku hours later after Manager gave them a call.

I remember all of it vividly…

. . . . . . . .

 **(The Night Before)**

"... I love everyone here as a family," I cried to Manager."So will you be my new family?"

My eyes were tightly shut and dread rose up into my throat. It became hard to breath and I sat in the corner of the room waiting to be declined. I just knew it too, I mean, who would risk their safety for an accident just waiting to happen?

"But of course Kaneki-kun. We'll always be your family, and you can always depend on us…"

I snapped open my eyes in surprise and stared at him astonished. My hands were shaking and my eyes started to burn. I then cried uncontrollably, but I wasn't sad. I was relieved. I was taken aback by his answer at first, but now I was happy and glad I could continue to stay with my family. A small smile spread across my face.

I stood up weakly, still smiling, and looked at everyone in the room. All gazes were warm and welcoming, even Touka's; despite the beating she gave me earlier. I looked at Irimi, then Koma, then Touka, and finally to Manager. These people are my family now…

Now standing, I began to reach for the doorknob, grasping it tightly then pulling. The door swung open towards me and revealed a hulking figure standing just behind the door. It was a man much taller than I and clearly more muscular. The man wore a black trenchcoat, accompanied by black boots. His hair was blonde and long, the strands of hair ending a little below his earlobes. He wore a mean and emotionless expression which was made even more serious by the slight stubble on his chin. Everything about this man scared me and I jumped back in surprise at his sudden appearance. He still gave me no attention and proceeded to speak to Manager.

"This month's food supply has been restocked."

Manager answered him back warmly,"Thank you Renji. I take it there was no trouble?"

Renji's eyes lowered to the floor in embarrassment, like a child getting scolded.

"One lady happened to pass by. I didn't have my mask on…"

I caught wind of where this was going and my stomach became uneasy again. I know that they are all Ghouls, but I guess I'm not used to the thought of killing. Now that I've been sucked into this world though, I'm going to have to learn to get used to it, whether I want to or not.

Manager looked down, disappointed, but not angry."I see. Do take care that you wear it at all times from now on."

Renji nodded, then looked me in the eyes for the first time. I couldn't tell if he was angry, disgusted, or annoyed. He seemed to wear all of these expressions. He then asked the Manager,"Is this him?"

Manager nodded, then looked at me and smiled.

"Yes," Manager said absently,"This is Kaneki. Kaneki this is Renji Yomo. He's in charge of food and other things Anteiku does to help Ghouls."

I turned back to Renji and greeted myself. "Hello Mr. Yomo, pleased to meet you," I chirped. He still showed no expression, but stuck out his hand and greeted me back,"You can just call me Yomo, Kaneki. No honorifics needed." It took his hand quickly, feeling the immense strength he held.

Manager smiled immensely at this, obviously overjoyed with the quick growth in our relationship. Manager then cleared his throat,"Now that everyone is acquainted, I'd like to talk to Kaneki privately. There is much to discuss." With that, everyone, except myself, filled out the room and we were alone.

"Sit," he ordered.

And so I obliged, taking the nearest seat as Manager poured two cups of coffee. Within a minute or so, he walked back over to the couch across from me and set the coffee down in front of me. I quickly took it, gulping it down in seven seconds. Manager chuckled lightly and asked,"So you already know you can drink coffee?"

I nodded, answering,"I had some with a friend earlier."

Manager nodded back and began,"Well let's start off with the basics…"

He then took a sip of his coffee and continued,"I assume you've discovered that your eye has changed color from time to time. Everyone has showed you their eyes, but you don't know what it actually means when your eyes change."

I listened intently, hanging onto his every word.

"When our eyes change color, they become what is known as a Kakugan. For most people, their Kakugan activates when they are hungry or are in the process of eating. When we all visited you in the hospital, we noticed that your Kakugan had activated. That also means that your friend Hide had took notice of it."

My eyes widened, my throat closing up again. I started to panic, but Manager calmed me.

"As long as he's never seen a Kakugan though, you should be fine. I only ask that you be wary around that young man. He's very… perceptive."

I nodded, taking note of every word he uttered.

"Now, I suppose I'll give you something to help your hunger."

Manager stood up and walked over to the small refrigerator which had kept the meat from earlier. He opened it, moved around some items which I could not see, then produced a small cloth pouch. Manager opened it and said,"These are sugar cubes. As you know, the only other thing you can digest besides flesh is coffee. We don't exactly know why this is, but it helps us Ghouls to fit into society. Fitting in is extremely important, for your safety, and Anteiku's. These sugar cubes are somewhat special however. They will help keep your hunger at bay, but will not satisfy it."

He held the light brown cube in his hand, rotating it in the light. "What are they made of?" I asked. Manager just looked at me grimly and said,"I think you already know."

He was right.

Manager dropped the sugar cube back into the bag, tied it securely, and placed the bag in front of me. I uttered a "Thank you" and stuffed the bag into my pocket. Manager remained standing, but now stared into a corner of the room. He seemed to be very lost in thought and I dared not to interrupt him. And so I sat for what seemed like forever, waiting for the Manager to move and when he finally did, I jumped. Coming out of his stupor, the Manager opened the door then looked back at me, beckoning me to follow him. And so I did. We walked through the back hallways of Anteiku, a place forbidden to regular customers. Before I knew it however, we were back in the restaurant area of the shop. The place had long since been closed up and cleaned, but now it was full again. It wasn't customers however, it was the Anteiku staff, two men, and one woman. At the feet of the three visitors were shining, silver briefcases. I understood who they were without a word being uttered.

They are with the CCG.

The lady seemed rather calm and nice, her hair bright blonde and her attire rather professional. One of the two gentlemen was rather large and muscular, his face stern. His hair was jet black and a silver cross hung from his neck. The last man, the oldest of the three, had graying hair and a wicked grin. The part which unsettled me the most however, was his eyes. They were crooked and insane, like a psychopath's. All of Anteiku seemed rather uncomfortable with these people here, everyone except the Manager, who greeted them formally.

"Please excuse us for calling you so late in the night, but this matter is rather urgent. Kaneki-kun, sit down, these people are here to ask you about what happened."

I walked forwards rather apprehensively and the oldest man spoke up, his grin still evil and his eyes still mad.

"Oh, it's no problem at all. Please excuse us for not getting here sooner, you know the traffic in the 20th ward, always _slow_. And you must be Ken Kaneki, first let be the one to offer my condolences. It's sad to see another family fall victim to such cruelty from the Ghouls."

The man held out his wrinkled, bony hand, which I took. I hope he didn't notice my hand shaking so badly.

"There's no need to be afraid Kaneki," he cooed,"we want to help you."

Apparently, he noticed.

I sat down in a booth across from the three visitors, shifting into the cushion rigidly. The older man started to talk again, introducing himself.

"My name is Kureo Mado, Special Class Investigator."

The other man stood up, bowing,"Amon Kotarou, Rank 1 Investigator."

The man sat back down, the lady now standing up and bowing. "I am Akira Mado, Rank 2 Investigator."

She sat down, and the Mr. Mado began to speak again.

"We are from the Commission of Counter Ghoul, the CCG if you will. We'd like you to answer some questions." That last sentence sent a shiver down my spine and I gulped.

Nowhere to run now…

. . . . . . . .

"When did you come home and discover the body?"

"Around 8:30 I think."

"What was happening when you got home?"

"When I walked in, I heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen. I walked over to check it out and this man was…. eating her. There was a hole in her stomach and he had her…. intestines in his hand. I uhh… got scared and… wet… myself."

My hand was on my chin, almost like it knew I was going to lie.

I was blushing now, embarrassed and sad at the same time. It was harder to talk about than I thought, especially since I was making up a story. I bet everyone thought I was weak and childish, but when I looked up, Mr. Mado showed no sign of humor.

"Please don't be embarrassed Kaneki-kun, you were just scared is all. We did find urine at the scene, so we'd like to take some samples to test, if that's okay with you."

"That's fine," I answered then continued with my lie. "After the man saw me, he jumped up and hid his face before covering my mouth and taking me out the back door. There was… blood all over him and I, and as we got on the balcony, he jumped off. There was another man in a car below, almost like they planned it, and before I knew it they had me in the backseat. They didn't tie me up or anything, I was too scared to even fight back."

My hand still grasped my chin firmly.

"I see," Mr. Mado mumbled,"you got away after that right? Explain that please."

"Well… we were stopped for some reason, most likely filling up the tank. I heard them say something along the lines of, 'this kid saw it, what should we do?' We were at a gas station which was pretty bright and there were a few people around, so I ran. I ran so hard and so fast, I can't remember where we were and where I ran, but before I knew it, I was back here at Anteiku."

As I finished my statement, Mr. Mado began to hum while taking down notes. Everyone else was silent, and I just stared down into my lap. As I concentrated, I could hear the sound of his pencil scratch against the paper. This went on for minutes, the sound of his hum and the scratching combined made me go crazy. Why won't they just leave?! They have their answers!

" _ **Or do they my dear?"**_

 _You…_

I swung my head upwards, watching as the woman hung around Mr. Mado's neck. He paid her no attention. She continued to stare into my gray eyes, her eyes a stinging purple. A seductive smile formed across her face and she giggled hysterically.

" _ **Yes it's me my dear, did you miss me?"**_

 _Not in the slightest. Just leave me alone…_

" _ **Ahh, but you see, I'm a part of you. Your life was saved by me, the same one who almost took it. Quite poetic is it not?"**_

 _I may have your kidney inside of me, and I may have turned into a monster like you, but that doesn't mean we are one in the same. I have my family with me, I have my hope, and I have my humanity._

" _ **Ha! You have your humanity? But you're no longer human, so that means you have none."**_

 _Wrong. It is as the Manager said. I was once human, afraid of Ghouls. Now I'm a Ghoul, afraid of humans. We've all had our hardships, and that doesn't mean that Ghouls don't feel pain the same way humans do. We are the same. That means I'm the only one to ever experienced both sides of the world. That means… that I have to be the one to tell everyone about my life. I need to tell them that we CAN live together in this cruel world._

" _ **Is that what you've decided to do?"**_

" _Yes."_

"Did you say something Kaneki-kun?" Mr. Mado questioned.

I snapped out of my daze, answering quickly, "Ah! Umm… no sir."

Everyone, including the other CCG Investigators, looked at me concerned. I snapped my head back down quickly, embarrassed. I kept my head down until I felt everyone's gaze leave me, then slowly lifted it back up. I thought everyone had stopped looking at me, but as soon as my eyes shifted upwards, I saw Mr. Mado's twitching eyes meet mine. I was shocked at first, but I realized he was studying me intently. He reminded me of myself whenever I read Ms. Takatsuki's books. Our gaze remained locked, neither of us backing down or blinking. It felt like a staring contest which could determine the fate of the world.

Mr. Mado broke the silence,"Thank you for your time." He surrendered this battle, not surrendering the war. The Investigators grabbed their briefcases, stood up, and left the shop single file. As the door closed behind them, the doorbell chimed.

I remained seated in the booth, my heart thumping out of my chest. Slowly, Irimi and Koma left the room, tending to their duties. It was Touka's day off so she remained seated, her hand supporting her head on the countertop. Finally, the Manager walked out from behind the counter and towards Touka. He bent over and whispered into her ear, to which she replied,"Sure." Touka then got up from her seat and shuffled over to me sleepily. It was evident she was ready to sleep, but she just ushered me towards the door. I stood up as well and followed her without a word.

. . . . . . . .

"Where are we going Touka-chan?"

"Shopping," she replied groggily.

As I watched her tired eyes snap open the slowly close again, I realized how tired I really was. It now approached 11:30 P.M. and it had been one action packed day. The lack of sleep combined with the overabundance of stress chipped away at my fortitude. But I held strong, determined to stay awake. It had been about twenty or so minutes since we left Anteiku. Now roaming the streets of Tokyo, Touka and I traversed through city streets and back alleys, avoiding any direct confrontation with passerbys. Before I had known it, we had traveled to the 4th Ward, which is a fair distance. Now the time reached 1:47, the sleepiness creeping up on the both of us.

"Touka, ho-how much farther?"

"We're," she yawned,"... here."

We had stopped outside of a nice and clean building, the main entrance made out of elaborate, glossy wood. Besides the door, various plants had gave the entrance some life and decoration. It was the logo which really stood out to me though. An eloquent sun had been painted on the side of the door. Four letters were engraved in front of it:

Hy

Sy

Touka broke the silence,"Well, since you're a Ghoul now, we can't let people seeing your face. Uta should help with that."

"Uta?" I questioned.

"Just get in here ya idiot."

And so we entered the shop. As we opened the door, a bell similar to Anteiku's doorbell chimed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the hiatus, I've been really lazy. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy!**

 **-Hamsta**

. . . . . . . .

(Kaneki's POV)

I entered the shop along with Touka and stood frozen in awe at the sight in front of me. The floor of the little shop was adorned with black and white tiles which shone with cleanliness. The dimly lit but still bright room gave a warm feeling. The air smelled of leather and pine trees, but really kept me in awe was the many decorations which adorned the room. Hanging from the walls and sitting in glass cases were what had to be hundreds of masks. Each mask glowed with different colors and designs. Some were devilish and sinister looking, others angelic and calming. Other masks seemed to be more childlike and humorous. Each different mask held its own persona and personality, but all were still inanimate objects made for the enjoyment of humans. I'm sure that many customers were Ghouls as well.

I will have a mask like this. Can I choose what I want?

Touka pressed forward into the store and I followed her. As we zigzagged through aisles, it became apparent that no one seemed to be working.

"Touka," I whispered," are you sure it's not closed right now?"

"It's open," a voice echoed from behind.

Touka and I twisted around to see a rather bizarre looking man. The man slouched ever so slightly and was studying me head to toe. The man's hair was tied into a lazy and frazzled ponytail with the left side of his head shaved. Many tattoos slithered down his chest and down his arms. Many were just pictures, but one tattoo, the one that wrapped around his neck, was some form of greek writing. He had no undershirt, but wore a jacket with the sleeves rolled up. His shorts were too big and came down far below his knees. The strangest of all were his eyes.

His Kakugan was showing.

"Touka, what have you dragged in this time. He smells… weird."

Touka laughed,"Uta this is Kaneki. Try not to frighten him too much, he gets jumpy."

"Noted," Uta replied while licking his upper lip."Now, I assume you need a mask. Have you been treating yours well Touka?"

"A few dings and scratches, but it's still alright."

"Ohh…. so it must be for him."

"Yes, um, I'd like to buy a mask please," I piped up.

Uta hummed before answering."No. You can't buy a mask."

"Huh?" I answered back disappointed."But I need this mask. Please, I'll- I'll uhh, buy one real fast and be gone, I promise. Just let me buy one!"

"No…" he stated coldly.

I stared at him blankly, not sure if to accept defeat or turn to Touka for help.

But he continued,"... I'll make you one. Any friend of Touka's is a special customer to me. And _all_ my special customers get _special_ treatment."

I breathed out a sigh of relief, overjoyed to get my own mask. Both of them must have seen me glowing because Touka remarked," Keep your panties on ya little girl." I calmed down a little and Uta walked me over to a stool to take my measurements. After he was done with that, he asked me a few odd questions.

"Any allergies?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Leather or metal?"

"Uhh, either is fine.''

"What is, in your opinion, the most appealing part about your face?"

"My… smile."

"Last one. Do you feel as if you need to embrace the evil part about you or drown it to keep your innocence?"

" _ **How about it Kaneki dear? Embrace me or kill me?"**_

 _You're my evil, my impotence, and I hate you. You've screwed my life to no end, you've taken away my ability to choose and now I can't choose my path. I'm forced to keep my head above the water and let the river carry me to its end. I have no choice but to just survive. I can however, swim with the current to reach that destination faster, so that's what_

 _I'll do._

" _ **Are you sure? What will happen when you reach that destination? What will have become of you along the way? You'll be soaked to the bone in my evil and you can never dry off once you climb out of the water."**_

 _That's fine. I don't mind staying wet…_

"I'd embrace it Uta. There's no need to be scared of what you are."

Uta looked up from scribbling his notes and studied me in complete enthrallment.

"Amazing answer Kaneki. That's all, I now have to make it. Come back in about three days, I'll have it by then."

Touka and I thanked him promptly before leaving the shop. The doorbell chimed again.

. . . . . . . .

A little before noon that same day, I had gotten plenty of sleep and my energy had been replenished. I sat on my my new bed and watched as the news displayed the death of my Mom. Anteiku was fairly quiet at this time of day and I was still struggling to get fully awake. Clicking off the TV, I bounced onto the floor, stretched, then made my way downstairs. Today was a Sunday and Anteiku didn't open until about one o'clock, so I took the chance to make a cup of coffee and relax. Today was already hectic and my head throbbed with frustration. At around seven or eight o'clock, Manager had woke me up to talk to the police. My interview with the CCG had passed through okay, so now the regular police took charge of the investigation. The CCG of course still had all the records of the incident, as they do with all Ghoul accidents.

I talked with the police for about thirty minutes or so and they promptly left, giving me their condolences. I thought that was the end of it, but Manager stopped me before I could head back upstairs. He handed me the telephone which we kept by the register and I was surprised to hear who it was. It was Aunty calling to check on me.

"Oh my sweet little nephew how are you doing?"

"Alright Aunty, how are you?"

"Oh God, it's just terrible dear, I can't imagine what you must be going through. You mother, oh my God my little sister, is… gone. Just like that."

"Yeah, it's weird huh? Here one day, gone the next. Like a small virus…"

"Yes… it's- oh my, give me a second!"

Muffled sobs echoed through the earpiece.

 _Yeah, just keep faking it. You only care about one thing_.

"My dear Ken, that reminds me. Did you mother mention me in anything, like a will of sorts?"

 _There it is_.

"No Aunty, she never wrote one. Everything is either being possessed by the CCG, the government, or me. I barely have anything."

"Of course! Everything goes to you!"

"No Aunty, the-"

"I don't want to hear it you ungrateful little bastard! After all I've done for you and your mother! You even let that old, shriveled up pervert adopt you!"

"What have you done for me?! All you did is take money from us! That's it! And now, you call this phone, insult the Manager, and still expect me to give you a few bucks? Don't call this number again! Jesus!"

I slammed the phone down onto the counter and stormed off. Rage filled my mind, but Manager put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I swiveled around to face him and my anger vanished. He was smiling, but not in a mean or condescending way. His smile was gentle. However, in his hands he held a dustpan and broom. I at first was confused but then looked over to the counter. The telephone which I had slammed down had cracked and burst into tiny pieces. Ceramic pieces littered the floor, accompanied by buttons and wires.

"You must learn to control your strength Kaneki-kun. You are now stronger than a human."

I nodded my head and began brushing the remains of the telephone into the dustpan.

. . . . . . . .

(Kureo Mado's POV)

My squad moved through the streets like shadows. I expected nothing less from my subordinates, and Akira knew this more than Amon. The young man still has much to learn and no doubt Akira will help along the way. She always cared for her teammates. Just like her mother…

It was almost dark, the sun illuminating the sky a bright and dark orange. Birds chirped somewhere in the distance, but I barely heard it. The entire squad moved slowly but eagerly, keeping pace with the target which strided nervously ten meters in front of us. It knew we were following him, but it didn't dare take action on the streets. It most likely would dart off into a isolated path, which made our job a lot easier.

It walked on for a few more seconds, stopped, looked over its shoulder nervously, then launched off its back foot into a full sprint.

I stifled a snort, marveling in its stupidity, then chased after it. Akira and Amon soon followed, keeping perfect pace with my my own. We turned into the alley that it had taken and we all shared a smile. I believe Amon and Akira were thinking the same thing as I, though failing to hide the humor in their faces. My left eye twitched into a slit and we closed the gap between the monster. It had trapped itself, like a mouse crippling itself in a mouse trap.

I set my briefcase down onto the filthy, trash littered cement under me. I put on the best smile I could, for intimidation of course, and produced a small slip of paper from within my overcoat. I held up the piece of paper in front of it and huffed in victory.

"So, you do know this dear lady then?"

I dangled in my fingertips a picture of the young boy Kaneki's mother.

The monster stared into those brown eyes of the her's, seeming to relive the moments in which it fed upon and desecrated the body of the beautiful, hardworking woman. Then, it answered.

"No, I don't, may I go now?"

I scoffed again,"Go? Ha, that's rich. Here's what we're going to do. You're gonna stay still so I can take a little 'souvenir'. It's for your compliance you see. Nothing major, so what's it going to be?"

It stared into my eyes, contempt and… sad? Why would it be sad? After all, it has no real meaning to this world. Us human can do without them, I mean, they should just kill themselves to make it a little easier for us. Our eyes remained locked though, fierce and with no signs of surrendering. Its brown irises flashed red, then the white of his eyes pooled with deep black.

Its Kakugan.

"Oh goodie," I remarked," I thought this was going to be boring."

A smile spread across my lips and I picked up my briefcase again. Akira and Amon did the same, but I waved them back. "Let me handle it. Take notes Amon, this is going to be on the test!" My gloved fingers stretched over to the latch and I unbuckled it.

 _Click_

The briefcase opened and collapsed in on itself. The handle morphed into the hilt of a dagger, and the blade soon stretched out along with it. Both the handle and the blade were harder than the strongest metal known to man so you'd think it would behave like a solid, but this wasn't the case. Though strong, this metal could bend into any shape like a liquid and still be able to retain its strength. This strange metal was in fact from a Ghoul.

The Ghouls possessed a certain type of cell in their body which, when activated could do the same as this dagger. The cells would erupt from their body and they would now have the most lethal weapon known to man. This weapon is known as a Kagune. We humans are smart though, finding a way to combat this. By extracting the organ that produced these cells, the Kakuhou, we could bend, twist, form, and craft weapons to fight equally to Ghouls. I personally favored daggers, but I had other weapons in my collection ranging from whips to swords.

The blade shown a bright, but still dark, red. Veins of purplish blue snaked its way up and around the dagger. Though large, it was extremely light and easy to use. It looked up from the dagger and stared back into the monster's devilish eyes, still smiling. The thing's Kagune ripped through his flesh with a wet, tearing sound, followed by the ripping of its shirt. A small, pale blob of Kagune snaked over its shoulder in a threatening way.

"You're going to kill me with THAT?! It's not even big enough to fit into my collection!" I giggled maniacally.

Its eyes scrunched up in frustration and anger before it came at me.

"Naive."

The monster closed its distance in seconds, practically on top of me. I danced the blade between my fingers before holding it rigid and upright in my hand. In a fluid movement, I slashed at the beast, hoping to hit its eyes. The monster was quick though, blocking the brunt of the attack with its forearms. It stumbled back and I advanced swinging again. It may have been a Ghoul, but it was evident how much experience it had. It had little to none.

Just as the blade came crashing down, it looked up, surprised and mortified by his quick defeat. Just then though, the oddest thing happened. There was a pop in my hip and my balance wavered, rendering my swing short. I felt the blade connect into its face, but it would have only grazed it, which it did. The dagger cut shallowly into its eye and across its eyebrow, blood flowing out immediately. The monster yelped in pain and sent glass-like shards flying into my legs. Like my attack, it only grazed its target, sending a small spray of blood onto the ground.

Amon and Akira shuffled to me, their own weapons drawn. The monster, its eye full of tears and blood, stepped back, raced up the walls of the alley, and vanished over the building. My legs still wobbly and weak, I fell backwards, uttering a curse. Amon watched the roof of the building while Akira helped me to my feet.

"Your hip again father?" Akira inquired.

I nodded, agitated. "I'm sadly not getting any younger my dear, and quite frankly, I don't think I can do this for much longer." I clutched my leg, annoyed that such a wound could debilitate me. Akira and Amon helped me to my feet, handing me my briefcase, and then walking along side me out of the alley.

No one said a word as I limped back to HQ.

. . . . . . . .

(Kaneki's POV)

I manned the register for what had to be about an hour. Other than taking orders and depositing money into the register, the job was quite boring. Koma usually striked a conversation with me or I pulled up a stool behind the counter and read. Reading became a little annoying due to the eyepatch which fit snugly over my left eye, but it was something I had to deal with in public.

Idle and indistinct chatter bounced around the walls of Anteiku but none of the conversations took my attention away from the book.

"Uh, excuse me?"

My head snapped up and a gasp pressed out of my mouth. In front of me stood the largest man I've ever seen, besides that blonde haired man who visited Yoshimura sometimes. This man's hair was dark brown however, his eyes the same color. He had a defined and square jaw, accompanied by a patch of hair on his chin. The thing that caught my attention most though was the large and fresh looking cut that dug into his right eye. That must have been painful.

The man looked into my eyes, his own widening a bit. He looked surprised, but hid it immediately. Clearing his throat, he asked,"Is the Manager in right now?" I shook my head,"No he left about an hour ago. He said he'll be back around nine o'clock, but I can take your name."

The man hesitated, sighed, then answered back,"Just tell him Banjou stopped by. It's about our half-blind friend, I think he's in trouble."

I nodded and the man jogged out the door, the bell jingling happily.

The alarm on my phone went off, signaling the end of my shift. I put the stool back in its original place, then went upstairs to change into something more comfortable. Minutes later, I had turned the TV on and laid back onto my bed in a fresh set of sleepwear. I hadn't changed the channel since this morning, so the News flicked on. A gorgeous lady was covering some story about the injury of a CCG Investigator. I stole a glance to the side, but sat bolt upright when I saw who it was. Mr. Mado, wearing his sinister smile, appeared on the screen. He was injured by a Ghoul it seemed and a composite sketch flashed up next to a picture of a bloodied leg.

The drawing was of a man with dark hair, some of it being on his chin, with a strong jaw. The real kicker was the injury the man received from Mr. Mado. A large gash along his right eye.

My stomach dropped into a pit and the man's words echoed in my mind.

" _Just tell him Banjou stopped by. It's about our half-blind friend, I think he's in trouble."_

He couldn't possibly mean me could he? Mr. Mado knew something? Did he know I was a Ghoul?

Thoughts like these raced across my mind all night, so much so that I could barely get a wink of sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

(Kaneki's POV)

For the next two days after the fight between Banjou and Mado, I kept myself in the back of the shop, cleaning dishes. I would much rather be manning the register but fear made me shy away from it. Word had it that Mr. Mado remained in the CCG HQ, no doubt gaining back his strength and healing. After healing, he would no doubt come looking for Banjou so it was best to keep my distance.

I was also expecting my mask from Uta. He had called the shop earlier today and told me it would be ready around 8:00, so I bided my time, taking breaks to read and banter with Koma. Irimi had called in sick today, claiming to have been vomiting since midnight. She said it was just some bad meat, a twenty-four hour bug which would probably vanish by tomorrow. Touka waited on customers, the job she seemed most comfortable at doing. In between her shifts she took the liberty to help teach me to make coffee. The coffee she made wasn't as good as Manager's, but still delicious nonetheless. My coffee however, was as terrible as it comes. The beverage was bitter, with only a tinge of sweetness, and extremely watery.

"Just take your time ya idiot. It's not gonna be ready in ten seconds, it takes time," she would tell me over and over again. Still, I continued to mess up though, raising her levels of aggravation. Each little training session I felt I was getting slowly better, but I still had a very long way to go. I also really enjoyed the time with Touka. She usually spent a lot of time studying and never really talked so it was nice to spend time together. I had been working at Anteiku for three years but I still knew so little about her.

"Hey Touka."

"Hmm?" she hummed.

"Why do you study so hard? If it's okay for me to ask…"

She snapped her head towards me, her eyebrows raised. "I'm going to Kami, so I need good grades."

"Oh, okay…"

Well that was short…

But, when she mentioned Kami, it struck a memory in me. It was a memory of a nice summer day, about two years ago. It was the memory of a promise.

. . . . . . . .

 _Two Years Ago…_

My feet dangled off the side of the monkey bars. I was in a remote park, closed last Fall because of the Ghoul attacks at the time. The place never reopened, so there it sat in the elements, rusting and creaking under its own weight. The sun beat down hard on me, but I tilted my head to the sky, bathing in it. My eyes were closed and the sun made my eyelids look red. Those moments dragged on, but not in a negative way. For a brief moment, my eyelids blackened then flashed red again. My eyes opened and a hand waved back into my face.

"Ya alright? Earth to Kaneki!"

I turned my head into the face of Hide, smiling brightly.

"What is it you dimwit?"

Hide snickered,"Just looking at your face burn."

My hand went up to face, tapping on the skin. It was slightly warm, but stung as I released the pressure with my fingertips. I winced and Hide handed me an old backpack of his. Inside were three giant bags filled with ice, condensation covering the outer part of it. Inside the bags were bars of ice cream, wrapped individually. Hide brought fruit flavored ice cream bars, chocolate flavored ones, and a pint of mint chocolate chip. I bought four juice boxes and two cream sodas. We had already ate half of it in an attempt to keep us cool, but we still ended up layered in sweat. I took out a bar of chocolate ice cream and rubbed it along my forehead before unwrapping it and taking a bite of cold chocolate.

"We're gonna have one hell of a stomach ache after this," Hide sighed.

"I'd say it's worth it," I answered and Hide nodded in agreement.

"Say Kaneki, do you think Touka and Yoriko could get us the number of that hottie in Class 9-C?"

"Doubt it."

"Yeah… Hey! Let's say that you were a Ghoul okay? Well, would you rather eat her or Touka?"

I choked on a bit of ice cream and coughed back,"Well, Touka of course! I mean, at least she'd get eaten by someone she knew, right?"

Hide laughed back," Yeah I guess you're right."

I grinned a little and looked back into the sky with my eyes closed. Hide cracked open a soda and took a long big slurp of it. I looked back at him and Hide looked into his can, somber.

"What's up?" I inquired.

"What are we gonna do after this? Ya know, school… Are we gonna split up, go our separate ways, get jobs, live, then die without saying another word to each other?"

"Huh?! Why would we do that? We're best friends!"

Hide looked sadly at the ground,"Well, my dad says that we probably won't be friends after school. He said it was just a 'childhood friendship' and that we would 'grow out of each other.' The truth is, I don't want that to happen."

"Me neither," I whispered.

"Okay then, let's promise."

"Huh?"

Hide turned towards me and held out his hand, every finger but his pinky tucked into his palm. I did the same, locking our fingers together.

"Let's go to Kami and be friends forever! We have to study our butts off, but let's do it! Promise?"

I looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Promise."

Hide smiled back and we turned towards the sky, a promise carved into our young hearts.

. . . . . . . .

 _Present…_

I slid open the classroom door and stepped inside nervous and anxious. It's been about a week and a half since I last went to school.

 _So much homework._

The teacher looked up from his desk and eyed me curiously.

"Ken Kaneki, is that you?"

I spoke up rather loudly,"Yes sir!"

"No need to be so eager for trigonometry. Mr. Sanji has been keeping your seat warm for you these past couple of days. Sit down and open to page 346 and work on problems six through thirty-two. I trust you have your books?"

I flashed him my textbook and he replied,"Good. I'll also need your absentee slip and that shall be all. Welcome back."

I handed him the blue piece of paper and sat down to begin working. My breath stuck into my chest and I tugged on my eyepatch. As I began scratching numbers into my notebook, I stole a glance towards Hide, who sat three seats to my right. He looked straight into my eyes and seemed to have been watching me since I walked through the door. He seemed impatient and rather calm. I smiled to him and he smiled back at me, then that was it. I did my work and he did his. Before we knew it the bell was ringing in our ears and we were leaving the class.

I snaked through the crowd of people filing out the door and began walking down the hallway.

 _It's coming, I know it._

I looked over my shoulder towards the crowd and waited, expecting to see something like a train come barreling through the mass of students.

"KANEKI!"

 _There it is._

People turned towards the scream and were pushed to the side, some by sheer force. Hide burst through the crowd like a bullet, his face red and excited, showing extreme happiness. I smiled at him but then suddenly realised I should brace myself. Hide closed the distance between us in mere seconds and before I knew it, he was leaping onto me. I exhaled a laugh and patted his back before playfully pushing him off of me.

"You bastard! You know that rabbits die if they get lonely right!?"

"Language Mr. Hideyoshi!"

We both laughed and walked the halls together just like we did the day my life changed.

The day I became something different than what my friend remembered me as…

. . . . . . . .

"Here for pickup I presume?"

Uta sat on his velvet stool, licking an eyeball, which he offered to me.

"No thanks," I waved him away,"But yeah, is it ready?"

"That's up to you. Just tell me anything you don't like about it and I'll be sure to fix it to your liking."

Uta leaned over to pick up a box to his left. It was wooden with golden accents, accompanied by an intricate little latch. Uta flipped open the latch and slowly opened the box while smiling.

 _The bastard's enjoying this._

The creak of the box's hinges made the wait even that more painful but after a long time, the box finally opened.

I widened my eyes a bit, not sure what to think except that this would be my mask. Sitting on top of the velvet lining in the box was my mask. It was a black, glossy leather mask. A patch of black leather had rough stitching on it, connected to a strap that ran to the other side of the patch. An eyepatch. The part that seemed to wrap around the lower face struck me the most. On it was wide, sinister smile which bared it's teeth maniacally. The gums that molded around the teeth was a dark red and to top it all off, there was a zipper which kept the smile together.

When I asked Uta about the zipper he responded, "In case you need easy access to your food."

I nodded, removed my eyepatch, and proceeded to strap the mask around my face. At first it was constrictive, barely giving me room to breath, but as I moved my face the leather loosened up. Uta handed me a mirror and I reveled in my own glory. The mask gave me a sinister and playful look. It made me feel powerful. Little to my knowledge I was smiling. I don't know why, but It felt like…

… I belonged here, in the Ghoul world.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Huh?"

I unzipped the mouth, spreading the teeth apart to reveal my real smile.

" _Thanks."_

"Don't mention it. Just be careful Ken, you're not invincible with that on ya know. I've seen eyes like that, _evil_ eyes."

"You mean eye, other one's covered," I retorted.

"Well the eye you're showing me doesn't look all that nice either…"

I blinked and looked back into the mirror. My Kakugan was showing brightly. Combined with my smile, I really didn't look that nice. I looked _hungry_ …

" _ **Oh my, sorry about that my dear, you just got so excited that I couldn't hold back."**_

My evil little friend draped her arms over my shoulders, her hands caressing my chest. It sent a shiver down my spine.

 _Leave. Me. ALONE. I said I'd use you, that doesn't mean we're best friends._

" _ **You're right. We're more than that. We are two halves of a whole. We are human and Ghoul combined. We need each other. I need you to live, you need me to continue to live. Pretty simple."**_

The lady rested her head in the crook of my neck, gently licking me. I shivered again, pushing her away. She just giggled and wrapped her arms around me again.

" _ **Relax, I'm just playing. By the way, you taste disgusting. You're nothing like when we first met. You were so sweet and juicy, but now you're rancid and dried out. That says a lot doesn't it?"**_

 _I don't know what you mean so get away from me lady!_

The lady backed away from me and I glared back at her. She was crying, actually hurting it seemed.

" _ **You really don't remember my name! Instead, you just call me 'lady'. I thought I'd be a little more memorable! Can you even try to remember me!?"**_

I felt my left eye itch and burn before I answered.

" _Yes."_

. . . . . . . .

My head was light and my eyes had black spots which clouded my vision. Dust hovered in the air and ringing echoed in my ears. It felt like lava was spilling out of my stomach and my legs wouldn't move an inch. Through the black spots in my eyes, I could see the stars in the night sky. They all looked so healthy and happy. They were mocking me. My head slowly fell down so I could see my surroundings. To my right was a bloodied book, which laid torn and frayed. Directly in front of me laid a mound of metal with liquid seeping out from beneath. A hand poked out from underneath the mass. The fingers twitched slightly and I could make out the purple nail polish which layered the hand's nails.

From the distance I heard the crunch of footsteps on the gritty dirt. Then there was a clapping.

"Good job my lady, you're dead. You just had to run didn't you _Rize_?"

My eyes wanted to snap shut, and they almost did, but I somehow kept them open until I heard the man say.

"Well isn't that Ken Kaneki? Damn… I guess we killed two birds with one stone."

I looked up and tried to look the man in the face but it was covered by a mask. I could only solidly see the familiar tattoo that wrapped around his neck.

. . . . . . . .

" _ **Do you know my name know Kaneki dear?"**_

" _Rize."_

There was a shuffle behind me and I whipped around to face Uta. His tattoo seemed to burn a permanent image in my mind.

"Did you say something Ken? Is something not to your liking?"

I stared blankly, my Kakugan glowing. The burning in my eye snaked downwards in little lines.

I can feel it in my veins.

 _Hatred._

"Hello? Earth to eyepatch?"

" _It's fine Uta."_

"You sure?"

My hand crept up to my chin and I grasped it tightly.

" _Yes."_

. . . . . . . .

I walked the now nearly empty and dark streets, heading towards my new home, Anteiku. I need the comfort of everyone like Koma, Irimi, Touka, and Manager. I need to tell them everything.

I walked rather fast, my new mask burning a hole in my back pocket. I wonder if I could have taken him. Fought him. Killed him. Or _eaten_ him.

What?

" _ **Sorry sweetie, I am just so hungry, I could eat anything!"**_

I'm scared of Rize, especially of how she can change the way I think. She has too much control and I've felt her power growing in me ever since I accepted her. My mask just makes it worse, allowing her to take over completely. I love to wear it though, even though I've only had it on for about five minutes. It makes me feel happy. It makes me feel like I can just forget about myself and let _Him_ take over.

I shudder, this time being fully scared. _He_ has lived in me for a long time. _He_ is everything I've tried not to be. _He_ is hatred, _he_ is merciless, and _he_ has been here ever since Mom started hitting me.

Huh? Mom hit me? When did that happen?

My head spun for a second and I lost balance, staggering onto the pavement. What's wrong with me? Did Rize mess with my head again?

" _ **No."**_

It was blatant and straightforward. There was no playfulness in her voice. My head stopped spinning and I focused my eyes in Rize, who was laying in my lap, twisting her hair in her fingers. She looked kind of sad, not because of something she experienced, but sad about something _I_ experienced.

I was so confused and dizzy and tired and… hungry?

I rested my hand along Rize's forehead and she smiled gently at me.

We sat like that for a long time too, just us and the brisk chill of the Tokyo air. I no longer felt dizzy or confused but calm. What was happening to me?!

Rize slid her hand towards my butt and I went to swat her hand away, but she was just reaching for my mask. She held it up towards the sky and marveled in it's glory.

" _ **You really fit this ya know? You both give off the same eerie feeling, but He's looks more scary."**_

"The mask?"

" _ **No, the other one."**_

I didn't answer or think about what she said; I didn't have time to. A shrill scream sliced through the air and into my ears. I jumped upright and Rize yelped as she fell onto the ground. The mask was in my hands now, smiling up at me. I could have sworn I felt happy at that moment.

. . . . . . . .

With my mask secured around my face, I felt free. I felt invincible and I thought I was, ignoring what Uta said earlier about being that. No one would ever see it, but a smile stayed on my face the entire time I was chasing the scream. I turned through alleys and backstreets before finally reaching the scream. I don't know how, but I knew that this alley was the origin of the plea for help. I could _smell_ it…

My footsteps bounced off the walls to my sides. I was close and my mask was getting hot from my heavy breathing. Trash crunched under my feet and became more abundant as I trudged on. Soon, I came to a left turn which opened into a larger, but still enclosed area. That's where I saw what had enticed my hunger.

A man.

He stood crouched over a little girl no older than fourteen. Her shirt had laid discarded to the man's right and I could hear his piggish breathing from twenty feet back. The man held his hairy hand over the girl's mouth, her tears trickling down and over his hand. He then gently stroked her face, earning a muffled screech and tiny kicks to his legs.

"I love when they squeal!" he yelled.

" **So DO I heHe!"**

The man jumped up, staring me in the eye.

"Hey listen bud! Why don't you carry your ass out the way you came before someone, other than her get's hurt!"

My smile broadened and I unzipped my mask to show the man. It wasn't to scare him, it was just me letting him know how much I would enjoy this. He then produced a small knife from his pocket. I then noticed Rize standing beside me, giggling.

" _ **He thinks he can hurt us with that? Don't worry Kaneki my dear, that won't even pierce us!"**_

" **OKay!"** I smirked.

I stalked forward, stumbling a bit to make him uneasy.

"I warned ya!" he yelled.

In one, slow movement he plunged the knife into my chest. Or so he tried to. The knife crumpled like paper and broke off, clanging on the floor. The man dropped the hilt and grasped his wrist, feeling the whiplash from the blade.

He looked me in the eye and fell backwards yelling, "What are you?!"

I grinned like a madman and answered him.

" **I Am a gHOuL!"**

I slammed my foot down on the man's knee, shattering it and bending it backwards. He screamed out in pain, almost matching the girl's high pitched voice. I stifled a laugh and bent down over the man, grabbing his leg. He yelped again and began gasping for air.

"Please," he screamed,"DON'T KILL ME!"

I felt a warmth burn in my eye, my Kakugan staring into his very being. He starting sobbing and yelling and I stared at his leg. I ripped half of his pant leg off and stared at his mangled and bleeding leg. I laughed before taking a big bite out of his calf. He yelled and started thrashing, but I slammed my foot into his groin, silencing him to nothing but a whimper. It was good, really good, oh so very GOOD! My only complaint is having to dig his leg hair out of my teeth. I threw his leg back down and the man grasped at it, tears and snot leaking down his face.

" **I GuesS You DON't liKe it WHeN YOU're thE onE ScrEAminG!"**

I was panting in an animalistic way and smiling like a psycho. I heard a whimper to my right and I glanced over. The girl from earlier was sitting with her legs bundled up to her chest. I took a step closer and she stumbled backwards.

" **Oh! Sorry 'bout that! Give me a second!"**

I strided over to her discarded shirt, a little blood seeped into the sleeve. I picked it up and walked over to her with my Kakugan covered.

" **Mind the blood Miss, got a little messy."**

I stretched the shirt out to her and I felt her little hand touch mine as she took the shirt. I heard her speak for the first time since she screamed.

"Th-th-thank you…"

" **Not a problem! Now, let's get you outta here-"**

"SWEETIE!"

My neck snapped to the right as I saw a lady erupt from around the corner. She was pretty normal looking and of course pretty, but she also bore a striking resemblance to the little girl. I noticed for the first time how they both had light brown hair and slightly chubby cheeks.

" **Oh, you must be her mo-"**

A heavy and stinging force slammed into me, sending me into the hard brick of one of the four walls which surrounded us. The wind was knocked out of me and I struggled to get back to my feet. My insides were aching and hot, probably internal bleeding. As soon as the pain had come though, it was gone and I groaned in relief. I looked up, confusion in my eye but soon being replaced by awe. There in front of me stood the lady, fury in her eyes. However, erupting from her back, was mass of muscle? It was pale and white, glowing red veins snaking across the blob. I guess you wouldn't call it a blob though, because it had shape.

It looked kind of like a butterfly.

"Beautiful…" I whispered.

The butterfly moved, likely to attack again, and I ducked out of the way. The butterfly smashed into the ground, sending debris and chunks of concrete into my eye.

"Get away from MY DAUGHTER!" she yelled.

 _Well, at least she_ is _her mother._

" _ **USE YOUR'S KANEKI DEAR!"**_ Rize screamed into my ear.

 _I have one!?_

" _ **OF COURSE, JUST USE IT!"**_

So, I did. I used my "butterfly" against the mother. At first, the sensation in my back was hot and itchy, kind of like when my Kakugan shows. Then I felt it erupt from my skin, euphoria and pleasure washing over me. It felt like a giant weight was let off my shoulders. It felt like I grew three extra muscles on my back and I could control each of them as easily as my other limbs. The limbs wiggled and stretched, looking like jelly as they moved, but hard as steel when felt.

" _ **This is your Kagune dear. Use it well!"**_

My Kagune limbs snaked around me, pointing directly at the mother. They were ready to strike, and so was I.

" **HAhA, OOhhhHh…. tHIs is GOnNa Be FuuUuUUn!"**

I zipped my mouth back together and readied myself. The mother looked uneasy, probably judging to see how crazy I was. On a scale from 1 to 10, she probably would vote ten-fucking-thousand. Well, she's not wrong.

" **You ShOuldN'T StaRT FiGHts YoU Can'T FINish!"**

My Kagune danced around me, eager to feel the ripping of her flesh and bones.

I stepped forward and staggered onto my knees. I tried looking down at my legs but a crystal like, purple, and red shard was sticking through my neck, keeping me from moving my head. Blood gushed from around the shard and I found that I couldn't breath. I gasped for air, making blood spill out of my nose and mouth. Then the shard started to turn into ash, dissipating into the air and leaving a giant hole in my neck. I gasped one more time for air before falling to the ground in complete anguish.

" _ **PATHETIC"**_

That word echoed in my mind. It wasn't Rize speaking so…

….Who was it?


	8. Chapter 8

I awoke with a start, gasping and reaching for my throat. My fingers stretched over tender skin, not a bit of evidence of any injury. I noticed I was cold and sweating. It felt like mere seconds since the shard had pierced my throat. Some time must have passed though because light had peeked through the curtains of the room I was in, nowhere near the alley. I took nervous and short breaths while still trying to reach around my neck to find a hole. Did all of that really happen last night? Was it a dream? No, it couldn't have been, it was too real. I remember the feeling of freedom when putting on my mask, I remember the pleasure of releasing my Kagune, and I remember the anguish of having my fun put to an end. Was it really fun? Did I enjoy every bit of what happened?

Yes, I did.

" _ **So did I."**_

I looked to my left and stared into Rize's purplish pink eyes. She laid in the bed with me, a nightgown covering her pale skin. She let out a yawn and stretched before slipping her hands between her head and the pillow. It seemed like Rize was appearing more often, helping me when I needed it. She felt like my Guardian Angel, though a little more twisted than I'd hoped for.

I groaned and swung myself out of bed, heading for the door. As I reached for the handle, it shook and turned, the door swing open in my face. I stumbled back so I wouldn't get hit by the door and stared into Irimi's brown eyes. She looked like she wasn't expecting me to be up yet.

"Kaneki-kun! Uhh… come follow me for a sec."

She stepped back into the hall and I groggily followed her. So, I was in Anteiku, which I guessed as much by the smell earlier. It always smelled like coffee and chocolate here.

I stumbled down the stairs after Irimi and walked into a congregation of people in Anteiku's shop area. Manager, Koma, Irimi, and Touka were there. Banjou was also there, the gash across his eye healed. Then there were two special people who I've never seen in the shop before. I saw them last night however, in that dark, dangerous alley. I stared into the Mother's eyes, shock resonating on both of our faces. Beside her on a stool sat the girl who I saved, the crying little "caterpillar." Together the made quite the pair, the "butterfly" and the "caterpillar."

In an instant though, I had arched myself, falling into a deep bow.

"I'm so sorry!" I yelled. I felt tears threaten to leak out of my eyes, but I held them back. "Please forgive me! I didn't mean to provoke you or your daughter! I- I can't-"

I felt a gentle hand rest along my cheek and I looked up. The face full of fury I saw last night would seem completely foreign on the beautiful and understanding woman that stood before me. Smiling, she whispered to me, "It's okay Mr. Kaneki, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, thank you, you saved my daughter." I peeked past the woman's shoulder, looking into the big brown eyes of the girl. She turned away, scared it seemed, and retreated behind her mother. I frowned a bit and her mother giggled, "Please excuse her, she's a little shy." No, she's definitely scared of me.

I stood up straight again and greeted the woman.

"Ah, my name is Ken Kaneki. Please excuse my appearance, I uh just woke up."

"Hehe, that's quite alright. Mr. Yoshimura had already given me your name. My name is Ryouko Fueguchi and this here is my daughter Hinami. Dear, say hello to our hero!"

The girl leaned out from behind Ms. Ryouko's rear and mumbled something inaudible. I laughed a little and stepped closer. "What was that ma'am?"

"Monster!"

The insult rang in my ears and I frowned, slightly shocked by the quiet girl's outburst. Ms. Ryouko whipped around and started scolding Hinami and I just backed up. Everyone in the room was also shocked, including Manager, who lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

I had known this and thought about how much I had changed and turned into something inhuman. I knew this myself and accepted it, but why did it hurt so much when someone else said it.

When Ms. Ryouko turned around she began apologizing profusely.

"Oh my God, Mr. Kaneki I am SO sorry! She doesn't usually do things like this! She is a very respectful person usually!"

Ms. Ryouko didn't know, but no matter what she said, Hinami's words wouldn't disappear. She was right, and nothing could make her wrong.

Touka called to me from somewhere, but it was faint and all I heard were my own words.

"It's okay Ms. Ryouko," I felt my left eye burn and everyone let out a gasp. " _She's right."_

My Kakugan glowed fiercely and everyone turned silent. A hand gripped me tightly on my shoulder and threw me back upstairs. I stumbled but someone ushered me upstairs, a nice kick in the ass to finish the journey. I was back in my room and I felt my Kakugan fade as Touka slapped me across the face.

"You idiot! That's not something you can go SHOWING AROUND!"

My face stung and Touka's enraged voice reverberated throughout the floor. No doubt everyone heard her from downstairs. I meekly responded,"Sorry…" Her eyes were glowing a cold blue and they stayed that way for about thirty seconds before they softened again.

"Argh! Just… stay here and shut up! We gotta go straighten this out!"

I sat on my bed again and watched as she stormed out the room, mumbling to herself. I sat there in silence for a long time, pondering how to fix this mess. A question lingered in my mind though. Why can't I show my eye? I mean, every Ghoul has them, so what's the big deal? Ms. Ryouko is a Ghoul, as shown from last night, so Hinami is also obviously a Ghoul.

Minutes later, a knock sounded from the door.

"Come in," I mumbled.

The doorknob turned and clicked, the door swinging open slowly. Hinami peeked her head through the crack, her big brown eyes looking doubtfully into my sullen face.

"I'm-I'm sorry Mr. Kaneki, that was really rude."

I smiled at her,"It's okay. Do you want to come in?"

Hinami fully opened the door and stepped inside, her arms held behind her back shamefully.

"Hey," she began, eyeing my bookcase in the corner,"You really like reading huh?"

I nodded and asked her if she liked it too.

"I try to read from time to time and mommy teaches me lots and lots. I have this one book downstairs, let me go get it!"

She smiled gleefully and burst out of the room, returning shortly after. "This is it right here!" she exclaimed.

I looked at the cover and instantly could tell it was Takatsuki Sen's book, Monochrome Rainbow. I pushed myself out of bed again and walked over to my bookcase. Thumbing through them, I found my target and pulled out the same book. Hinami gasped and I laughed.

"Come sit, we have LOTS to talk about."

She giggled and plopped herself on the edge of my bed and began asking me about all the different kanji and meanings. I gladly guided her and our little spat from earlier was quickly forgotten.


End file.
